The voice that made my heart stop every time it said my name. That whispered sweet things in my ear and promised it would always stay.
That made love to me in that oh so special way.
I can breathe in still and taste her tongue, smell her beautiful hair. I remember the absolute all encompassing feeling of a love that was so pure and strong.
I remember fucking it up.
I remember my sanity slipping away. I remember taking for granted the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
The most beautiful soul in this entire world turned away by the ugliness of my actions.
I remember the pain.
The pain of all the memories that tortured me every single place I went. The thought of you with someone else, hating me.
The realisation that no matter how much I struggled you would never want me back.
The girl I spent months finding a ring for. The girl that made me realise who I was and conmect with myself and my family.
All those years of happy memories with my best friend in the world that only we shared.
True love in every sense of the word.
But it got toxic and I can only blame myself. I know she played her part but I just can't forgive myself.
These things are fading and it truly breaks my heart. Because I can't remember her voice anymore... or her laugh.
The way she smiled and told me she loved me.
The twinkle in her eyes when I made her smile.
And a billion other things that are going away.
I can only pray that once it's fully past, as sad as it is.
I will be healed.
But I hope we meet again someday,
I hope you're well and healthy,
and I pray that we both find happiness.