As I've fallen into a ritual, the same boring day after day. I wake up, work, go home to a destroyed house, take care of my child and begin to clean.
I eventually get something for us to eat and strike up the same argument that has only become routine. To no avail it's always the same. "He was too bad today so I wasn't able to clean.
You're just tired from working. We can talk about this later. I'll do stuff tomorrow." The dishes can vouch that he hasn't done anything. They sit there dirty and smelly.
'If I keep doing everything then I'll only keep doing it. Nothing will change.' I leave the dishes to him. I kiss my son goodnight and watch him drift into sleep.
By this time if I get to bed I'll be able to get about 7 hours of sleep before I wake up for work. I relax in my bed but get upset.
I begin crying, thinking about how my day and every other day has gone. 'When will it get better? I know I said I could wait 18 years but I don't think I can.
' By the time I actually drift off to sleep I'm able to get 5 hours before waking up to repeat the day. Only this day isn't like the last.
I get a message from someone I haven't talked to since high school. We agree to be friends so I decide to go see him. The minute our eyes meet, I fall. I've never experienced anything like this.
Even to the man I've married. This feeling is so raw and pure. It makes me shake. I know my life is about to change.