People have asked me about you.
Asked what happened between us.
Some explicitly asked what you did you to me.
And when they do, I start to tell them.
I give them something small to catch onto so I don’t have to explain the rest.
The parts I cannot speak of without my voice cracking and wasting.
But some still ask and that is when the dam breaks and the truth floods out of my mouth.
When I see the shock bleed into their faces, I wish I had never spoken.
I wanted to keep your abuse secret.
I felt guilty for even mentioning it and now I realize.
It’s you.
In my head.
You are still gaslighting me away from the reality of what you did,
I am still in your chains, taking the responsibility and delivering your apologies for you.
No more
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