No More

People have asked me about you.

Asked what happened between us.

Some explicitly asked what you did you to me.

And when they do, I start to tell them.

I give them something small to catch onto so I don’t have to explain the rest.

The parts I cannot speak of without my voice cracking and wasting.

But some still ask and that is when the dam breaks and the truth floods out of my mouth.

When I see the shock bleed into their faces, I wish I had never spoken.

I wanted to keep your abuse secret.

I felt guilty for even mentioning it and now I realize.

It’s you.

In my head.

You are still gaslighting me away from the reality of what you did,

I am still in your chains, taking the responsibility and delivering your apologies for you.

No more