Blue Eyes

Prose by adelinefecker

When I look in your eyes

I remember how I used to see the ocean. I could feel the wind on my face and the sound of the waves calling me. I remember wanting to take off all my clothes and dive into the depths.

I imagined it would feel like I had always felt

when I withdrew on myself only this time I would not be alone. I would be surrounded by your wonder. Lost in the never ending depth and breadth of your perfection. God, I wanted to drink you up.

But now.

Now I know that your eyes are not the ocean. Not the type you can swim in. They are not warm and gentle. They are hard and cold. Like ice. And diving would smash me against your cold indifference

I am sorry I did not bring a summer breeze

to melt you or a sunrise to make you soften. Maybe you expected me to so when I got there you were angry. Was I wrong to see an ocean in you when all there is is ice?

I just wanted to swim

and I thought your eyes were the ocean...