blaming you

I cannot breath properly

Do you know that?

Sleep is now my best friend

But I had many sleepless nights

I never did my homework

My main subject was you

I studied you,

I shaped myself after your preferences

I thought I was in love

I tried to feel like everything was going right

My life, My mind, My soul, My heart

Four different things, all shaped for you

But not one fine

I tried to hide the hate I had

For me

I thought that you could make it go

And make me feel beautiful

And loved

Happiness is overrated, I know that now

I learned a lot from you

These days I'm new

My soul is true, the same my heart

My mind is clear, my life's my art

You're proud, you smirk

I am heartbroken, that you think?

Because I am not glaring at your eyes

But I'm not scared to remember your lies

I am so dead inside

But honestly glad

That you crushed my soul

And effortless taught me

To feel nothing at all

I tried blaming you

For what I am

But now I'm not.

You don't deserve that.