The Jedi Temple exit had never felt so long in her life. This hadn't been the plan, she was supposed to help them stop the war, fight alongside them, not walk away.
But the pain held her like a deep wound, burying itself in the pit of her stomach. The sense of betrayal was all she felt, Anakin had offered her a way back in, but she'd declined.
The hurt in his eyes had nearly broken her, but Ahsoka couldn't go back, at least, not yet. She felt like an outsider, who was she without her lightsabers and master?
The sound of footsteps behind her drove her from her thoughts. She could sense him, it was Anakin.
"Ahsoka, wait!" He said, catching up to her. She stopped, almost at the edge of the temple's pathway.
"You can't do this," Anakin's voice seemed so small and shaky, the exact opposite that it usually was, she hated to hear him like this, guilt rose through her chest. This was her fault.
"You have to understand, I feel betrayed, I don't belong here anymore," Ahsoka whispered, she clenched her arms to her chest, she couldn't look at him, it would cause her to cry even harder.
"You can't just leave Ahsoka, I supported you, I stood up to you. You can't just leave me," Anakin pleaded.
"You don't understand--"
"Yes, I do," he cut in, "Believe me, I understand, but you have to come back.
Where could you possibly go without many credits or a house or anything?" She hesitated; she hadn't thought that far into her plan.
"I have to figure this out on my own," Ahsoka said in a light tone.
"What about me? What about us?" Tears welled in her eyes; she knew Anakin would bring that up. Finally, she turned to him to see that he was crying as well.
"Anakin, it was never going to work, you know that. The Jedi code forbids it. What if the council found out about us? Then we would both be taken out and shamed upon.
" Ahsoka hadn't meant to sound so harsh, Anakin looked deeply hurt.
"I would leave the Order for you Ahsoka,"
"Don't say that," She cried, looking down at the pavement, she couldn't meet his eyes.
"But it's true Ahsoka, we can keep our relationship a secret--just come back, you're making a grave mistake.
I love you," The words hit her like a blow, she knew he had felt an attraction to her, but he'd never said the actual words.
Ahsoka couldn't bring herself to say the words back, instead, she buried her head in Anakin's chest and he rested his chin atop her Lekku.
Eventually, she pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"I'm sorry Master," She said, and turned away, leaving Anakin in shock.
. . .
Trace sat, across the table from her, they were in the middle of a game of Dejarik, she had only played the game a few times in the past.
Trace moved her creature towards one of Ahsoka's, her eyes widened as Trace's character beat up hers'.
"I really suck at this game," She said with a laugh. Trace sat back in the chair, relaxing her muscles a bit.
"Don't worry, you'll get better over time. I had to go through years of my sister beating me before I finally won a match,"
"Whatever you say," There was a pause before Trace asked a question she hadn't been expecting.
"So, what was your master like? Did he train you well?" Trace had asked multiple questions after she'd confessed her Jedi past, but this was the first about her master.
"He was great, he got his funny remarks from Obi-Wan, my master's master. What about your family?" Ahsoka asked, wanting to change the subject.
"Well, I've told you most of mine, my story doesn't seem to be near as exciting as yours," Trace responded, crossing her arms. Ahsoka gave her a small smile before getting up.
"I've had enough of this game for a night," She said, yawning. "I'm heading off to bed," Trace nodded, and turned off the Hologame.
"That reminds me, I should go check on Rafa, she's been at that Cantina a little too long," Trace got up and headed to the speeder parked near the exit of her garage.
"I'll see you tomorrow then," Ahsoka said, waving a hand, and heading off to the back.
She didn't really have a room to herself, the two sisters weren't wealthy by any means, but they had made some credits since they'd gotten back from that supply escape.
There had been a cot laid out for her, most likely from Trace, she was always the nicest of the two.
Feeling too tired to change, Ahsoka covered herself with a blanket and fell asleep within the first ten minutes.
The sleep didn't last long though, she bolted upright, a wave of nausea creeping up on her. Quickly, she got up from her bed and headed to the only bathroom in the garage.
Bile was rising in her throat; she had no time to close the door as she dumped her previous meal into the toilet.
Once Ahsoka had stopped retching, she washed her mouth out with water, attempting to get rid of the terrible aftertaste in her mouth.
She hadn't sensed the figure approach from behind her, and when she came into the light, Ahsoka almost jumped.
It was Rafa, there were bags under her eyes, she looked very tired, but that didn't hide her creased eyebrows and parched lips. Her pajamas hung loosely on her thin frame.
"What's up with you lately? You're bladder suddenly really bad?" Rafa sneered, a hand on her hip. Ahsoka turned off the sink and looked to her with a confused glare.
"And what business is it of yours if it was?" Rafa and her hadn't gotten along very well since they'd met only two weeks prior, but she wasn't all that bad, just tough around the edges.
"It's my business if you're making a mess of my bathroom," She growled, crossing her arms.
"How would you know if I was?" Ahsoka asked showing a slight grin.
She had always been a terrible liar, when Anakin and she had lied together it hadn't been so bad, but now it was different, she was alone.
"Don't play dumb Ahsoka, I could hear you puking from across the hall," Her voice was flat but Ahsoka could tell there was some humor in her words.
"So, have you come to see if I'm alright? It looks like I'm growing on you," Ahsoka tried to laugh, but she still felt sick. Rafa just rolled her eyes and ignored the question.
"Look, I don't get that much sleep each night, but I keep seeing you puke, is something wrong with you?" She hadn't expected Rafa to actually sound concerned, but here she was, proven wrong.
"I'm fine, it's probably just some bug I caught," Ahsoka lied. Rafa narrowed her eyes for a moment but then retained to her normal expression.
(I can't add the full chapter because of limited space, but I will continue it in the next post)