This is going to be different
This is going to be a story : )
When i was 14 lived in a house with my deeply abusive mother, my drugged out father, and my illegal immigrant step father (doesn't talk weirdo) and 2 little sisters raised by my abusive mother.
And a step baby sister of my new step father.
I was in Hell
One week I wasn't fed for 3 days
I went upstairs and there was food prepared
At this point i had only been only drinking water for 3 days and i was light headed
I ate everything.
My mother came out and started to scream : )
She called me a pig son and shamed me for eating my little baby sisters food.
At this point in my life I had planned to commit suicide at 2 points.
I was depressed and felt a constant cloud of sadness over me
At times it was so bad I couldn't move
I didn't want to exist anymore
When my mother screamed at me I started crying, bawling, breaking...
I don't cry.
Deep heart crushing sadness ran through me
The abuse, the bullying, the lack of anyone who gave a shit
It all came collapsing in on my psyche
I wrapped myself in a blanket and laid in my closet looking up into the pitch black
It hurt really bad and it kept getting worse
It was dark, I could only see coats and hangers as my vision faded out to black
It got cold
Everything went cold
I stopped feeling everything
I stopped crying and sobbing and wheezing in a blink
The agony and sadness was gone
But i felt a cold run through my whole body
It numbed everything, physically and emotionally
I climbed out of the closet.
I am not the same.
And I'm glad
I'm numb : )