Closet- A Personal Story

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This is going to be different This is going to be a story : )

Closet- A Personal Story

This is going to be different

This is going to be a story : )

When i was 14 lived in a house with my deeply abusive mother, my drugged out father, and my illegal immigrant step father (doesn't talk weirdo) and 2 little sisters raised by my abusive mother.

And a step baby sister of my new step father.

I was in Hell

One week I wasn't fed for 3 days

I went upstairs and there was food prepared

At this point i had only been only drinking water for 3 days and i was light headed

I ate everything.

My mother came out and started to scream : )

She called me a pig son and shamed me for eating my little baby sisters food.

At this point in my life I had planned to commit suicide at 2 points.

I was depressed and felt a constant cloud of sadness over me

At times it was so bad I couldn't move

I didn't want to exist anymore

When my mother screamed at me I started crying, bawling, breaking...

I don't cry.

Deep heart crushing sadness ran through me

It hurt

It hurt

It hurt?

The abuse, the bullying, the lack of anyone who gave a shit

It all came collapsing in on my psyche

I wrapped myself in a blanket and laid in my closet looking up into the pitch black

It hurt really bad and it kept getting worse

It was dark, I could only see coats and hangers as my vision faded out to black


It got cold

Everything went cold

I stopped feeling everything

I stopped crying and sobbing and wheezing in a blink

The agony and sadness was gone

But i felt a cold run through my whole body

It numbed everything, physically and emotionally

I climbed out of the closet.

I think?

I am not the same.

And I'm glad

I'm numb : )

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