Drunk enough but not enough to fall asleep
Drunk enough but not enough to fall asleep stories
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acotmt
acotmtPoetry for the sake of living asdfasdfa
Autoplay OFF  •  6 months ago
As said in the title, I felt this way because I couldn't sleep. My friends thought it was pretty good but I want YOUR (yes you!) opinion. Please let me know what you think and what I should and shouldn't keep doing. Thank you :)

Drunk enough but not enough to fall asleep

In the end I had to be carried

I hate feeling weak

I already feel the weight of all my unproductive choices and spiteful thoughts on myself

I can’t burden someone else even if they want to help

I feel like ash burned onto an old wooden shelf they try to keep clean

Guilt of my dirt on someone else's ruined sheath

They are trying to reach a breakthrough

We are all digging underground in a way

Therapists, counselors and guidance seem funny

Help from others

We all need help from others

Do I feel guilt because I don’t want others to think of me

If I die I’ll be dead again in two generations

My decade is feeling old and it’s only two

I smoke and drink to rush a counter

Nothing will be the same as it was when I first woke up

A long time ago everything was fine

In the future I will look back and see that everything was fine too

My father was twice divorced and saw failure but still keeps trying

At fifty three will I still keep trying

What I want is simple

I gave up on aspirations and dreams I was encouraged to dream as a child

I just want to live and live comfortably

If I die I’ll at least be dead comfortably

I have to make everyday better than the last

But that is difficult

Not because I choose not to but realistically

Do I keep doing the same thing

What could true happiness even mean

Artists are open to criticism

Athletes are open to failure

Happiness comes at risk

Even when achieved one can risk losing it all

It’s all fluctuating

The thought of even having to fight for it makes me sick

The reason I can’t talk about my problems or aspire to greater things or stand up for myself or try to achieve happiness or try to create bonds or try to maintain bonds or try to better myself

Is because I’m too lazy

And laziness can be nice

Laying down is nice

But as one lays down

One has to get back up

It’s a cycle

Everyone has to lay down

Whether for the first or last time

I laid down

I laid a lot of myself down

In the end I want to be carried

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