Aonani: I'm getting used to the helpless feeling because this happens so often. The violence stopped, but the emotional and mental abuse and gaslighting is getting more intense.
I'm tired of false promises, but I have no choice but to sit and take it.
If there are no physical signs of abuse on me, and the camera can't catch it, then it didn't happen, right? I must be losing my mind, because she would never want to hurt me.
Sure, she has outbursts often, I can never predict what she's going to do, and it hurts to get yelled at almost every day, but that doesn't mean she's abusing me. Neither could he.
Sure, he gets mad at me when I try to help, he always says he's gonna stop and he doesn't, and he's threatened to seriously injure me, but that doesn't mean he's abusing me.
They both care way too much about me to do that. I'm sad and scared all of the time, but I must just be going through a phase, and I must be being too dramatic.
Also, all teenagers are depressed, right? It's normal to feel hopeless at this age. This is all normal, and other people are hurting way worse than I am. I couldn't be abused.
Aloka: I am being abused. Feeling helpless, sad, and scared all of the time isn't normal. Sitting there and taking the abuse will do nothing.
Violence could become involved again, and so I need to be careful. Her outbursts, unpredictability, and constant yelling isn't healthy for me.
He has threatened me before, and he could do it again. He could carry out his threat if he wanted to, and I wouldn't be able to stop him.
Neither of them mean to, but they are hurting me, and I can't take this for much longer.
Depression isn't normal in teens, hopelessness is a bad sign, and thinking this is abuse is not being dramatic.
Just because others are hurting more than me, that doesn't mean that I'm not hurting, too. I need to do something about this before it gets out of hand.
Ash: What is happening to me? Is it or is it not abuse?