I have known her for so long, she has been part of my life from the time I can remember yet we were always so far apart.
I have never thought of a day where I won't see her face first thing in the morning, a day where we won't be fighting over small things, a day where we won't share the same bed.
She wasn't supposed to leave, we were never supposed to be apart, I won't accept my reality as it is, never, everything that is happening was never supposed to happen.
This isn't the reality that was meant to be but what do I do?
I have nothing left, I ruined it, I pushed her away, I left her first, I gave up on her when she was fighting for us, what right do I have to call her back, what right do I have to be with her.
She was never strong, a coward by nature, the biggest loser you would see, the kind of girl that gets pushed around by the popular girls but still she had her will,
she still struggled and suffered only fueled by the hope that I will be there for her too.
Honestly, what a foolish girl she was and what an idiot of a woman she had become and for what? A little shit like me.
This house and this child were the world she had built for me to live in but I wasn't the one to settle for this world.
I had ambition and I still do, I wanted to do something big, something worth remembering, something that would make history dedicate a page in its long book to my name.
She knew about my ambition, everyone knew and warned her about it yet she still ignored them, I tell you she was an idiot of the finest variety,
even I could not believe she was still there and she still is, right beside me. Giving me the strength to stand with her child in my hand.
In this country without hope and without ambition, she still believed that a life of happiness can be perused, she still trusted that a life,
where this can grow up and be happy with her parents, existed in a distant future.
She still believed that we will survive even when the rotten wood of the house was burning around us and we were submerged in smoke,
she didn't give up even when that blade was grinding against her neck.
A true idiot indeed, only if she gave up, she would still be here with our child.