"Well, this is as good as it's going to get.
" Looking back at me with slight disgust is a woman so short it’s obscene with wild golden brown curls and honey brown eyes wearing a short black skirt and a hunter green tank top.
I stand there scrutinizing her every aspect. I can't help but notice every flaw. Like the fact that her eyes are too big for her face.
Or, that her mouth is so small it seems permanently puckered. I hate her. I hate everything about her. If I don't hurry up though, I'll miss the bus and that's the last thing I need.
So, with one last look at the girl in the mirror, I run out the door. Fuck! I hate running!! It always seems like I can feel my heartbeat in my fillings.
No matter how hard I train, I will always hate running.
Crap! why did I waste so much time?! I just about sprint the two blocks to the bus stop so that when I arrive I am doubled over trying to catch my breath and the bus still isn't here.
"Great job Rodriguez, your anxiety got the better of you... yet again." why do I always do that? I hype up the situation in my head until it becomes an emergency.
"And now, I'm talking to myself.
" I roll my eyes and notice that there is a guy sitting at the bus stop doing a terrible job of hiding his bemused smile as he watches me have this conversation with myself.
Great! This is turning out to be an awesome day. Not only did he just see me acting like a lunatic but to make it worse he's extremely attractive.
Even sitting I can tell he's tall at least 6'3" and has broad shoulders.
His face is a rugged handsome with a strong square jaw with rust-colored stubble, thin but defined lips a scar tracing the upper left side, a straight nose,
large round emerald green eyes that sparkle and thick eyebrows. He has red hair that shines golden in the sun.
He's wearing faded blue jeans and a tight white t-shirt revealing his thick biceps, he's obviously very fit. He's looking up at me through his long eyelashes holding back a chuckle.
I narrow my eyes at him and turn away. In a huff, I reach into my purse and pull out my iPod determined to avoid eye contact with this, would be Adonis.
I hit shuffle and wind up listening to Lisztomania by Phoenix it's a song I know well so I drift into my thoughts.
I create an alternate version of events. One with me being tall, leggy, and confident.
Instead of 4'9" and mousy, I imagine this fictional me walking forward with a sultry swing in her hips, this version of me would never sprint,
she cocks an eyebrow at this beautiful stranger and just like that she has him eating out of her palm. She leans over and whispers in his ear "I don't live too far from here".
His eyebrows raise in surprise and he grabs hold of her hand and they walk back to her house.
Back in reality I grab my journal and decide to write one of my shorts about the clever and sexy Nicole, my alter ego.
Just as I'm writing the words, as he grasps her hair in one hand he dips one of his thick fingers into her wet slit, I hear "whatcha writing?
" I startle and look up blushing, of course, McGorgeous has an Irish accent.
"Sorry love, I didn't mean ta frighten ya" I give a resemblance of a smile and stuff one of my wayward spirals behind my ear.
"It's fine," I say as I quickly return my journal to my bag and take my earbuds out. I stand and fidget, awkward under his gaze. His face breaks into a grin that makes my mind moan.
Geez, this guy could be a Hollister model. "Fine day isn' it?" Ordinarily, I would have thought he was talking to someone else...
anyone else, but seeing as we are the only ones here I look to the sky and say "yea, I guess it is" It's Orange County every day is nice.
"Me' names Seamus nice ta meet ya," he says as he extends a large and calloused hand. Tony my Bio Dad always said you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands.
I reach my own tiny hand forward grasp his hand firmly and say " my name's Simona nice to meet you too" he smiles again *moan "wow Bonnie, that's a nice name. It suits you.
" I cock my head and scrunch my eyebrows "Bonnie?" His grin fades to a shy smirk as he rubs the back of his neck "aye, Bonnie means beautiful where I'm from".
I realize my mouth has dropped open a little and quickly shut it. I blush again and hope I didn't drool "erm... thank you" I say shyly out of the side of my mouth.
Then before he has a chance to say anything else the bus arrives and I clamor aboard scan my pass and quickly find a seat near the second set of doors in the middle of the bus.
I watch as Seamus deposits his money and walks to the seat behind mine.
Do all Irish have this easy going swagger to their step? I try my best to keep my eyes forward as he casually leans forward and say "ya never did answer, what were ya writin back there?
" I do my best at being nonchalant and say "a bit of nonsense really" he eyes me and says "well lucky me, I love a bit of nonsense.
Are ya a poet er sumtin?" I'm really not sure how to answer that. I just like to write. It was a part of my therapy that I always enjoyed and it kind of stuck with me.
It was a way to create a safe world for myself. A place where no one could touch me.
A place Joe couldn’t find me… Thinking about it now makes my throat tighten and I begin to feel the darkness crash around me. Fuck, I can't do this not now, not here.
Why won't he just leave me alone?
I mean this is Orange County for Pete's sake looking around I can see at least five beautiful blondes on this bus alone and they are all watching him out of the corner of their eye.
Surely he'd rather be talking to one of them. I have sat silently for too long. He watches me questioningly "I don't mean ta pry or anythin, if ya don wanna say ya don have ta.
I'll just sit here quietly and stop pesterin you." He rubs the back of his neck and looks down embarrassed.
I search my mind for the right words and when there are none to be found I just say "no, I'm not a poet. I just write down little things that pop in my head.
" he raises his eyes as he smiles and looks out the window " well this is my stop. I'll be going now. It was a pleasure to meet ya Miss Simona the non-poet.
I hope we'll run into each other again an maybe next time ya won be so outta breath." He gifts me with another smile and rises to get off the bus, waving as we pass him on the sidewalk.
I sit stunned did that really just happen or was all that just a made up scenario that my overactive imagination concocted? God, he was too gorgeous to really exist.
I think back to everything he said. Was he teasing me? Jerk. Yes, I know I'm hopelessly dorky, thank you.
I shake my head and shove my earbuds back in my ears blaring Paralyzer by Finger Eleven to block out the noise of the bus and ride for rest of the way to Cal State Fullerton,
where I major in Bio-Chem, in stunned silence.
When I arrive my best friend Callie is waiting for me with an extra coffee in her hand.
Callie is taller than me, not that everyone isn't, she stands at about 5'5" she has an athletic yet feminine figure and long, thick, and straight black hair.
She has tan skin, a rounded jaw, thick pouty lips, and big beautiful almond shaped brown eyes. She's been my best friend since we were 11.
Even though I spent two of our high school years in Washington state with Tony we stayed close, and I always knew when I graduated I would come back to Orange County,
I just got lucky and got to go to school here and move with Callie into our small two-bedroom duplex in Anaheim.
I smile as I approach her and resign myself to keeping McGorgeous to myself, she'd either not believe me or get her to hope up that I might have found “The One”.
"Sup Loser," she says affectionately while handing me my cup. I take a sip, mmm hmm hazelnut my favorite, "Hey Pluto, watcha up to?" She links elbows with me.
"Oh my god, I have so much to tell you..." and begins talking about her boyfriend, the infamous Abel. As she describes their latest sexual escapade I, thankfully, tune her out and my mind wanders
to Seamus. Maybe I'm building him up? No one’s that gorgeous. I wonder why he was at my stop? I've never seen him before. Is he new to the area? I know I shouldn’t care, but a part of me hopes to see him again.