Sometimes I think about it and I love being alone, but I hate being lonely.
It is very difficult because it is like I want to belong to someone or to a group and not just to be a body, but to feel like I have a purpose there.
Nothing feels good and nothing feels right.
Nothing satisfies me, nothing makes me happy, nothing really makes a difference.
It feels like being trapped in a place you cannot escape.
It feels like being tied down.
Everyone depends on you for comfort, for help, for security, happiness but nobody can do that for you the way you need.
It feels like every person takes all the energy, love, vibes, everything that ever exists in your soul leaving you drained with nearly anything to care for yourself.
It feels like being stuck in a place you can't escape.
That is why I try to depend on myself because nobody knows how to provide for me what I do to them or they don't even try.