Thoughts about death.

What if this were your last day what would you do? Most people would name everything on your bucket list, but what would you actually do. Often times I think of death. I think of death from torture, to natural death, car accidents, death from cancer, death from brain dead etc.

I think so many things like what are the last moments like? Does everything just turn black and all of a sudden I am in another life in this beautiful universe I never knew existed? What is death like?

When you go brain dead is that just it? Can you actually hear? When you die in a crash is it so instant that you never suffered? Death consumes my mind.

My tata when he had brain cancer he would forget cords on the guitar and you can tell his frustration. As the time came closer he would just say random things like sandia or chango, or anything really. Then it lead to him not comprehending who I was,but would just smile. Eventually he fell asleep until his heart stopped.

Everyone I look at something or zone out I think to myself wow this is not going to matter or exist one day. Will i miss it? Sometimes I get sad thinking about it because of me being scared of the unknown. I know I can't stop death and I know it will happen anyway. I try to spend the moments laughing and spending it with family every chance I get.

I have heard stories about people's near death experience like drowning and someone giving cpr to revive them. The feeling they said they experienced is that everything was at peace and everything was okay and without suffering.

I am not sure what death is like I just hope that whatever is best is beautiful so I don't continue having anxiety over death.