My playlist is on shuffle and on the highest volume.
I purposely do this to block out some thoughts and to just scream at the top of my lungs.
The lyrics are sung "Even if I say It'll be alright. Still I hear you say You want to end your life. Now and again we try To just stay alive Maybe we'll turn it around 'Cause it's not too late It's never too late."
It connects deep to my soul.
It makes me think where I was.
What my mentality was like.
How I used to value things, people, and life.
Time seemed so slow as I felt miserable through my every breath.
I am reminded by the physical scars and emotional ones that I have made it.
It still is rough and it still gets tough, but I still push forward.
I never want to be at that low part in my life again.
I never want to think those thoughts again.
Sometimes life is overwhelming and it's easy to question your worth, purpose, things, yourself.
All I can say is I am human too.
I feel certain things and have certain thoughts and learn to deal with them too.
All I try to remember is I deserve to be here like everyone else.
I deserve an opportunity to make the best of myself like everyone else.
I deserve to be beautiful and work on my self-love and self-worth like everyone else.
I deserve just to be.
There will be those ups and downs, highs and lows, depressing or miserable days and that's okay.
It is what we do with all of that what matters.
It is about our reaction, our plan, and goal that matters.
Through the pain, hurt, depression, anxiety, questionable thoughts I am proud to say I am happy to be apart of this world today.
I am never promised this life.
I can be taken away in my sleep, in a car accident, through being sick and many unexpected reasons.
I cherish the days I do have because I could be taken from this world at any point or the ones I love and care about can too just as easily.