Ever feel like anything in your life you touch you ruin or kill? That's me.
I feel like anything that ever comes good in my life tends to leave one way or another whether that be by death or by choice.
It's like I fall in love with the connection and the amount of support and understanding. All of a sudden it gets ripped out of my chest by the removal of their presence and leaves me on the floor again questioning my self-worth.
Every time I become close and I think everything is good it is like life laughs in my face and says "haha just kidding you thought." Again I am stuck there wondering if I have a curse or if I even deserve anything.
What is the point of becoming close anyways? We die alone right? So why trip? I guess that saying it's too good to be true really does apply to me, but the only difference is it is all the time.
I guess just continue to not get too close, fall too deep, release many feelings or personal things. Same thing different person. Maybe I was created to feel extreme hurt? Maybe I was created to be misunderstood? Maybe I was created to suffer so when I die it will be peaceful and a sense of relief? Who knows?
So far it seems the only thing I am good at or use to are goodbyes.