I did it. I finally am going to graduate with my Associates.
Although I have taken 3 years off and I feel I should have been completely done with school right now I know that everything happens for a reason.
It took 3 years for me to get better from my depression, anxiety, my lack of motivation for life. During those 3 years a lot has happened.
I became a heavy alcoholic and needed it to function every single day for about two and a half three ish years. Luckily now I am able to be okay with the help and support of friends, family, therapists, and God. Luckily I am okay now and drinking isn't my answer to everything anymore. Through the struggles I am able to embrace the pain and deal with it even when it hurts.
Due to drinking I have put myself in ugly situations causing me to get raped, deal with the feeling of not wanting to be here, and putting myself in relationships that were completely toxic and abusive.
During those 3 years my Tata was diagnosed with an aggressive form of brain cancer. He lived more than he should have, but that was and is the most painful thing ever. He passed away 1 exact week from my birthday and I will forever not be able to be okay from this.
During those 3 years I have been trying to mend relationships with my family due to some issues we have had stemming from my sexual orientation in me being lesbian. Luckily I am still standing and blessed to say though it took 10 years to get the love and acceptance I needed they still stand by my side.
During those 3 years I have busted my butt working multiple jobs just to try to be okay and distract myself.
Even when I felt life was too much and I didn't want to deal with it I still chose to be here. I still chose to fight. Even when everything seemed out of place or impossible to overcome I still chose life.
I have highs and lows and go through my cycle. Some days are clearly better than others, but I will continue to fight.
I am a fighter and I have survived this far. I accomplished this goal of school and getting some education. It seemed like I had to walk through hell and back just to stand where I am now, but i have learned so much like to learn how to love myself and be comfortable in my own skin.
I still struggle because depression never goes away, but I have learned to cope with it the best ways that I can. Even though it may feel uncomfortable I have learned to reach out to people who will be willing to listen to me and I have. It has worked and it never has failed me.
Today I am proud to say I have made it and will go on to the University to continue my education. I am a strong person and those 3 years were tough, but I am a person I never thought I would be. I am proud because I finally did it.