A guy came into a bookstore and asked "do you have any books on how too commit suicide?" "Go away, you won't bring it back."
A girl with bright red eyes trips and smashes into a wall and the store clerk says "are you okay?!" The girl nods and says. "Sorry if I frightened you it has been a while since I possessed a body."
Where did Lucy go during the bombing? Everywhere
"What do you do in your free time?" "I stalk." "Oh I love walks in the park and going out to the movies with my friends!" "I know."
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Instead break their bones they have 206, I mean who needs that many bones?
Stranger no danger! Get in the car with them, they will give you candy!
I saw the scariest thing in the world yesterday... a hideous monster was looking back at me in the mirror...
This person has crossed the line! Yeah it was the line of life sooooo... there dead now
I took the king out back when we were in love. Being a sniper is great! By the way love for me is fake
My teacher always tells me and my classmates is that we are supposed to listen more since we have 2 ears and only one mouth. But I am an alien so I only have one ear and 2 mouths... but why talk when you can eat? She deserved it.