What's yellow and can't swim? A bus, full of childeren
What's the difference between me and cancer? My dad didn't beat it
"Where exactly are you taking me doctor?" "To the morgue." "WHAT?! BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!!!" "And we're not there yet."
My grief counselor died yesterday. He was so good at his job that I don't even care.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother.
Did you hear about Pillsbury Doughboy? He died of a yeast infection
When ordering food at a restaurant I ask the waiter how they prepare the chicken. "We tell them they are going to die."
Two men who were strangers to each other are walking through the woods until one of the men breaks the silence. "Its very dark, I am a little scared." The other man says, "how do you think I feel? I will have to walk all the way back alone!"
"Siri why am I still single?" "I have 5 websites you can use to take a picture with."
When I am at the funeral I look at the tombstone engraving and it says: I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK!!!