{"count":1983,"next":"https://commaful.com/api/stories/tag/?page=78&tag=loss","previous":"https://commaful.com/api/stories/tag/?page=76&tag=loss","results":[{"id":"0da813a2-7b1a-4854-bfac-3ee99036d84b","reaction_count":13,"reaction_counts":{"NI":13,"all":13,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"conformingisboring","author_description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"To my friend\nWho died\nOf suicide:\n","first_page_image":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/EAFEA493-D897-44B9-A741-4D87EBE5BB961558195023772.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/EAFEA493-D897-44B9-A741-4D87EBE5BB961558195023772.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"conformingisboring","id":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","nickname":"Casey","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":1,"story_count":213,"reaction_count":371,"following_count":55,"follower_count":546,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":482222,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"lv2","badges":["lv1","gft","fqr","lv2"],"social_urls":{"instagram":"Conformingisboring"},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["grief","loss","mourning","poetry","poem"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:20:29.745227-08:00","created":"2019-05-18T08:54:35.151741-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"To my friend\nWho died\nOf suicide:\n","description":"WARNING, mature language and may be triggering for some.\nTbh I don’t think this is my best work, but it’s honest. ","thumbnail":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/EAFEA493-D897-44B9-A741-4D87EBE5BB961558195023772.jpg","slug":"to-my-friendwho-diedof-suicide","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-18T09:17:51.350860-07:00","published":"2019-05-18T09:17:51.350850-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":166,"comment_count":1,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"c6381166-b051-4e50-8f63-5af27beae832","reaction_count":3,"reaction_counts":{"NI":3,"all":3,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"rorofushosho","author_description":"Community member","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"The love that left\nDrained the rest\nBut in leaving \nI became whole ","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise695.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise695.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/4ebc73a9-ced6-457c-9805-00470fed15eb-compressed1578088466430.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"rorofushosho","id":"0bf3dde7-bff5-4954-877f-417daa9a0df5","nickname":"Roni","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/4ebc73a9-ced6-457c-9805-00470fed15eb-compressed1578088466430.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/7421afb7-6b90-4f52-99e5-102654af9a37-compressed1578088511255.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":73,"reaction_count":3,"following_count":30,"follower_count":32,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":32051,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["love","whole","loss"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-03T21:30:16.502685-08:00","created":"2019-05-16T14:59:09.941980-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"The love that left\nDrained the rest\nBut in leaving \nI became whole ","description":"Whole ","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise695.jpg","slug":"the-love-that-leftdrained-the-restbut-in-leaving","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-16T15:00:55.627307-07:00","published":"2019-05-16T15:00:55.627297-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":10,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"0bf3dde7-bff5-4954-877f-417daa9a0df5","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"8cfc8c2f-d314-49a2-aadf-7a97a3b8e65b","reaction_count":14,"reaction_counts":{"NI":14,"all":14,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"conformingisboring","author_description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Love the living \nBefore you’re\n grieving,\nNot just \nthe dead,\nBut the \nnever said.","first_page_image":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/9B3D625D-BA3D-44BD-8860-7F19196C01AE1557697064997.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/9B3D625D-BA3D-44BD-8860-7F19196C01AE1557697064997.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"conformingisboring","id":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","nickname":"Casey","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":1,"story_count":213,"reaction_count":371,"following_count":55,"follower_count":546,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":482222,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"lv2","badges":["lv1","gft","fqr","lv2"],"social_urls":{"instagram":"Conformingisboring"},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["poetry","loss","grief"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2020-04-21T04:59:36.016944-07:00","created":"2019-05-12T14:28:10.311757-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"Love the living \nBefore you’re\n grieving,\nNot just \nthe dead,\nBut the \nnever said.","description":"Hardest life lesson. ","thumbnail":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/9B3D625D-BA3D-44BD-8860-7F19196C01AE1557697064997.jpg","slug":"love-the-living-before-youre-grievingnot-just-th","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-12T14:38:20.202006-07:00","published":"2019-05-12T14:38:20.201987-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":10,"comment_count":2,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"4b7a1a43-fbb8-4718-87c0-4cbabdc321da","reaction_count":16,"reaction_counts":{"NI":16,"all":16,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"wendigated","author_description":"Community member","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Old mans tale","first_page_image":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/blurred/sunrise1245.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/blurred/sunrise1245.jpg","m":null,"l":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/blurred/sunrise1245.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"wendigated","id":"7d546a3d-a246-4040-869b-84fc572ef408","nickname":"Darnell","profile_picture":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":1,"reaction_count":0,"following_count":10,"follower_count":6,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":0,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["sad","story","poem","loss","love","regret"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-03T21:11:52.612954-08:00","created":"2019-05-12T11:16:11.717333-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"Old mans tale","description":"He is sitting on the beach Looking at the waves\n","thumbnail":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/blurred/sunrise1245.jpg","slug":"old-mans-tale","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-12T11:17:38.893258-07:00","published":"2019-05-12T11:17:38.893246-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":99,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"7d546a3d-a246-4040-869b-84fc572ef408","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"b4a1a432-ece7-482a-890c-fc76dde31bbb","reaction_count":3,"reaction_counts":{"NI":3,"all":3,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"leelee","author_description":"Happy. Free. Confused. Lonely.","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Hey there,\nWhen you walk by the dazzling blue,\nOf the roaring sea,\nLeaving footprints-\nFor me, to follow you;\nDon't forget to be real quick\nOr else the waves will wash them away.\n\n\n\n","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise569.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise569.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/8aeacd2b-0bfe-4044-a562-b6a8fd0dca67-compressed1557683801224.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"leelee","id":"75211990-4a71-41b3-ac89-c99207a809e9","nickname":"Lily","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/8aeacd2b-0bfe-4044-a562-b6a8fd0dca67-compressed1557683801224.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/eacad8ec-82a3-4baa-8cc3-84eb9f514ab4-compressed1557683888959.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"Happy. Free. Confused. Lonely.","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":1,"reaction_count":4,"following_count":25,"follower_count":8,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":0,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["sad","heartfelt","grief","sorrow","pain","truth","love","loss","diary","journal","notes"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2020-09-20T22:12:41.337175-07:00","created":"2019-05-12T11:00:41.433853-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"Hey there,\nWhen you walk by the dazzling blue,\nOf the roaring sea,\nLeaving footprints-\nFor me, to follow you;\nDon't forget to be real quick\nOr else the waves will wash them away.\n\n\n\n","description":"Ever seen the notes from an unread diary?","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise569.jpg","slug":"hey-therewhen-you-walk-by-the-dazzling-blueof-th","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-12T11:03:36.377411-07:00","published":"2019-05-12T11:03:36.377401-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":14,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"75211990-4a71-41b3-ac89-c99207a809e9","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"124e4066-6c25-4e01-8766-99944824547d","reaction_count":14,"reaction_counts":{"NI":14,"all":14,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"conformingisboring","author_description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"\n                   Sat on the sidewalk\n  \nCounting the cracks \n\n                    In the pavement \n Waiting for someone \n\n                Who’s never \nComing back. ","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1503723235850-517a713dc771?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=sDLtCWyzuPQ","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1503723235850-517a713dc771?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=sDLtCWyzuPQ"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"conformingisboring","id":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","nickname":"Casey","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":1,"story_count":213,"reaction_count":371,"following_count":55,"follower_count":546,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":482222,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"lv2","badges":["lv1","gft","fqr","lv2"],"social_urls":{"instagram":"Conformingisboring"},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["grief","loss","poem"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-03T21:09:14.305513-08:00","created":"2019-05-11T10:29:41.657399-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"\n                   Sat on the sidewalk\n  \nCounting the cracks \n\n                    In the pavement \n Waiting for someone \n\n                Who’s never \nComing back. ","description":"I still miss her. Like everyday. ","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1503723235850-517a713dc771?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=sDLtCWyzuPQ","slug":"sat-on-the-sidewalk--counting-the-cracks--------","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-11T10:31:49.463520-07:00","published":"2019-05-11T10:31:49.463509-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":5,"comment_count":1,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"5d0b8020-b2be-4b68-92c9-947d964e9c0a","reaction_count":116,"reaction_counts":{"NI":113,"all":113,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":3,"username":"rosarlei","author_description":"\"Here, Play\"  ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ 🕷","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"\n\n\n\n\n\n             S T E R Q U I L I N U S\n\n                - I N V E N I T U R -","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/bee7cfdd-d7fa-7c85-9566-f3cef2552a40-1557231456520.gif","first_page_images":{"s":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/t_bee7cfdd-d7fa-7c85-9566-f3cef2552a40-1557231456520.jpeg","m":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/m_bee7cfdd-d7fa-7c85-9566-f3cef2552a40-1557231456520.jpeg","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/bee7cfdd-d7fa-7c85-9566-f3cef2552a40-1557231456520.gif"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/8811807c-a899-112c-ab3f-833eed3c560d-1611120954752.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"rosarlei","id":"9787954b-3b6e-4c08-a537-4f321d0af0c5","nickname":"🕷","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/8811807c-a899-112c-ab3f-833eed3c560d-1611120954752.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_8811807c-a899-112c-ab3f-833eed3c560d-1611120954752.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/9e53ed6f-9a4d-9912-33d2-23d0a2a2b89d-1606309542783.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_9e53ed6f-9a4d-9912-33d2-23d0a2a2b89d-1606309542783.jpeg","description":"\"Here, Play\"  ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ 🕷","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":167,"story_count":285,"reaction_count":496,"following_count":229,"follower_count":5443,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":1051493,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"str","badges":["amb","lv1","lv2","fqr","gft","pwr","lv3","str"],"social_urls":{"instagram":"rosarle_i"},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["innocence","loss","creation","genesis","magic","romance","pain","betrayal","flow"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2022-03-19T18:28:21.500805-07:00","created":"2019-05-07T00:42:25.684750-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"\n\n\n\n\n\n             S T E R Q U I L I N U S\n\n                - I N V E N I T U R -","description":"A deal made among the damned! ಠ_ಠ","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/bee7cfdd-d7fa-7c85-9566-f3cef2552a40-1557231456520.gif","slug":"untitled-12","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-07T23:59:24.126423-07:00","published":"2019-05-07T00:43:44.381868-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":1492,"comment_count":32,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"9787954b-3b6e-4c08-a537-4f321d0af0c5","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"04ea0643-1714-4a7a-b753-b589d0f5f840","reaction_count":4,"reaction_counts":{"NI":4,"all":4,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"omgitzkesha","author_description":"Expression through words and art! 💕","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Lost Looking for my Mother\n\nYou are just lost, I’m sure of it\nThere is no way you would ever leave me behind\nYour best friend\nYour daughter\nI try to reach you in my dreams \nBut I’m only greeted with nightmares of losing you\nLeft in this hell\nMy world has changed for the remainder of my time here on earth\nI am lost looking for you, mom! ","first_page_image":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/45C796F8-27C1-41B3-BB27-4371BFA018ED1557270466691.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/45C796F8-27C1-41B3-BB27-4371BFA018ED1557270466691.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/643912FE-4F7C-4841-B7DC-DD4C32AC12441556243851235.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"omgitzkesha","id":"74762c4b-5ad9-49da-922c-dbf4cb91dfd5","nickname":"Kesha","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/643912FE-4F7C-4841-B7DC-DD4C32AC12441556243851235.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/93769EF1-51E3-4B30-94EC-41CDE651E6661556244019292.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"Expression through words and art! 💕","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":7,"reaction_count":0,"following_count":22,"follower_count":7,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":67,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["poetry","poem","heartbreak","loss","death","love","mother"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:02:32.758848-08:00","created":"2019-05-07T16:07:55.692629-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"Lost Looking for my Mother\n\nYou are just lost, I’m sure of it\nThere is no way you would ever leave me behind\nYour best friend\nYour daughter\nI try to reach you in my dreams \nBut I’m only greeted with nightmares of losing you\nLeft in this hell\nMy world h...","description":"A poem to my late great mother","thumbnail":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/45C796F8-27C1-41B3-BB27-4371BFA018ED1557270466691.jpg","slug":"lost-looking-for-my-motheryou-are-just-lost-im-s","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-07T16:09:44.071479-07:00","published":"2019-05-07T16:09:44.071469-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":13,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"74762c4b-5ad9-49da-922c-dbf4cb91dfd5","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"0eb61f9c-1a98-4b17-a083-f28721fb5c19","reaction_count":15,"reaction_counts":{"NI":15,"all":15,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"barrierspark","author_description":"Older than the oaks","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Don't Let Me Stray From You","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1500099817043-86d46000d58f?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=rX12B5uX7QM","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1500099817043-86d46000d58f?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=90&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=rX12B5uX7QM","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1500099817043-86d46000d58f?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=480&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=rX12B5uX7QM","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1500099817043-86d46000d58f?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=rX12B5uX7QM"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/2052ab4d-5b56-1d4b-0f93-b7e0ebf976ae-1588911548574.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"barrierspark","id":"bf3c67d7-d6a9-43f0-8dab-ddd7cbcca8df","nickname":"MoonQuill","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/2052ab4d-5b56-1d4b-0f93-b7e0ebf976ae-1588911548574.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_2052ab4d-5b56-1d4b-0f93-b7e0ebf976ae-1588911548574.jpeg","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/80917ca1-3c48-218b-4dd7-778d1983baff-1588911609295.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_80917ca1-3c48-218b-4dd7-778d1983baff-1588911609295.png","description":"Older than the oaks","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":41,"reaction_count":44,"following_count":3,"follower_count":249,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":6254,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["vintage","love","loss","breakup","lost","woods","hope","truth","home","emotions"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2021-06-13T11:59:44.551345-07:00","created":"2019-05-07T11:46:11.686312-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"Don't Let Me Stray From You","description":"Darling, dearest, don't let me stray from you. \n","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1500099817043-86d46000d58f?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=rX12B5uX7QM","slug":"dont-let-me-stray-from-you","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-07T12:01:31.296642-07:00","published":"2019-05-07T12:01:31.296631-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":61,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"bf3c67d7-d6a9-43f0-8dab-ddd7cbcca8df","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"83edd33c-d111-4689-b3c0-33895c286533","reaction_count":1,"reaction_counts":{"NI":1,"all":1,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"rorofushosho","author_description":"Community member","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"If it was different I could stay\nI could muster up the will to hurt myself again\nAll for a place to call home\nAlone is now home\nAnd I’ve never been more me than now\nI’m not sorry\nOnly happy for losing you but finding alone ","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise389.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise389.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/4ebc73a9-ced6-457c-9805-00470fed15eb-compressed1578088466430.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"rorofushosho","id":"0bf3dde7-bff5-4954-877f-417daa9a0df5","nickname":"Roni","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/4ebc73a9-ced6-457c-9805-00470fed15eb-compressed1578088466430.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/7421afb7-6b90-4f52-99e5-102654af9a37-compressed1578088511255.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":73,"reaction_count":3,"following_count":30,"follower_count":32,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":32051,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["loss","home","sad","love","alone","heartbreak"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:18:52.933115-08:00","created":"2019-05-07T01:41:56.596741-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"If it was different I could stay\nI could muster up the will to hurt myself again\nAll for a place to call home\nAlone is now home\nAnd I’ve never been more me than now\nI’m not sorry\nOnly happy for losing you but finding alone ","description":"Loss is love ","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise389.jpg","slug":"if-it-was-different-i-could-stayi-could-muster-u","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-07T01:48:07.598564-07:00","published":"2019-05-07T01:48:07.598554-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":8,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"0bf3dde7-bff5-4954-877f-417daa9a0df5","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"d908612b-6371-4053-9c04-176af5eaba95","reaction_count":11,"reaction_counts":{"NI":11,"all":11,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"conformingisboring","author_description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Took a red ball pen\nCrossed out the days \nCounting on them \nTo dull the pain. \n","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1544819679-57b273c027a3?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=Ij7h-m4nJ18","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1544819679-57b273c027a3?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=Ij7h-m4nJ18"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"conformingisboring","id":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","nickname":"Casey","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":1,"story_count":213,"reaction_count":371,"following_count":55,"follower_count":546,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":482222,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"lv2","badges":["lv1","gft","fqr","lv2"],"social_urls":{"instagram":"Conformingisboring"},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["grief","loss","pain","sorrow","poetry"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-03T21:17:42.106370-08:00","created":"2019-05-04T22:06:19.272642-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"Took a red ball pen\nCrossed out the days \nCounting on them \nTo dull the pain. \n","description":"This feels better. I’m starting to allow myself to write about her in a more authentic place. ","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1544819679-57b273c027a3?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=Ij7h-m4nJ18","slug":"took-a-red-ball-pencrossed-out-the-days-counting","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-04T22:34:47.187502-07:00","published":"2019-05-04T22:34:47.187489-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":15,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"e7de96f6-9a0f-4b68-a845-06f9c3ae60ee","reaction_count":4,"reaction_counts":{"NI":4,"all":4,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"oe93o","author_description":"Aspiring author 🖤","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"The Demon,\nA short story","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise846.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise846.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/08953736-EB6A-4BEC-BC57-2AE75BEBF2CC1556996179134.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"oe93o","id":"2bc661cb-a7fc-4ee0-8d1c-c5189398b1b6","nickname":"Evalyn","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/08953736-EB6A-4BEC-BC57-2AE75BEBF2CC1556996179134.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cat-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/EA2AD434-31EB-499A-9716-D7CA5FDE07481556996346596.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"Aspiring author 🖤","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":1,"reaction_count":1,"following_count":0,"follower_count":1,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":31,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["short story","flash fiction","fiction","revenge","loss"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2021-12-28T16:12:59.602410-08:00","created":"2019-05-04T11:36:51.335451-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"The Demon,\nA short story","description":"A short story about a man who who lets revenge guide his life, to the point where he becomes irreversibly changed.","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/blurred/sunrise846.jpg","slug":"the-demona-short-story","categories":["FC"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-04T11:54:29.186360-07:00","published":"2019-05-04T11:54:29.186351-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/share/vid/e7de96f6-9a0f-4b68-a845-06f9c3ae60ee-53.mp4","share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":4,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"2bc661cb-a7fc-4ee0-8d1c-c5189398b1b6","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"aea05f03-6c22-4ac8-8337-dd71a2ced94a","reaction_count":13,"reaction_counts":{"NI":11,"all":11,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"thijseeckhaut","author_description":"Community member","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"To my beloved wanderer: why dost thou danceth with my ghost?","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1531747056595-07f6cbbe10ad?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=BcVvVvqiCGA","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1531747056595-07f6cbbe10ad?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=90&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=BcVvVvqiCGA","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1531747056595-07f6cbbe10ad?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=480&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=BcVvVvqiCGA","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1531747056595-07f6cbbe10ad?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=BcVvVvqiCGA"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/6cb64881-7efc-162f-aeb4-1f192cf8303b-1540852718462.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"thijseeckhaut","id":"e34ddea9-a659-4495-8daa-3f64d047595d","nickname":"Matthew Price","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/6cb64881-7efc-162f-aeb4-1f192cf8303b-1540852718462.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_6cb64881-7efc-162f-aeb4-1f192cf8303b-1540852718462.jpeg","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/f30adb53-60f8-40d6-ae7d-e65fda484cc5-1540852683990.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_f30adb53-60f8-40d6-ae7d-e65fda484cc5-1540852683990.jpeg","description":"","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":4,"reaction_count":0,"following_count":6,"follower_count":1,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":3614,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["romance","poetry","loss"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2021-12-14T03:27:44.522416-08:00","created":"2019-05-04T03:17:21.500076-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"To my beloved wanderer: why dost thou danceth with my ghost?","description":"To, T.\n\nFrom,  L.","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1531747056595-07f6cbbe10ad?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=BcVvVvqiCGA","slug":"to-my-beloved-wanderer-why-dost-thou-danceth-wit","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-04T03:44:39.927171-07:00","published":"2019-05-04T03:44:39.927160-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":70,"comment_count":1,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"e34ddea9-a659-4495-8daa-3f64d047595d","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"9f9b15bd-392c-4f90-b4a8-f5b851bf5338","reaction_count":18,"reaction_counts":{"NI":18,"all":18,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"grantcadams","author_description":"Community member","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Too much time in the room for waiting\nHating the silence\nMy patience is grating\n","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1505924618867-ff42db34a861?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=pFoA5Pphb-Q","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1505924618867-ff42db34a861?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=pFoA5Pphb-Q"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/4a31e0bb-3e8b-6554-1024-d7a689674e13-1554305005285.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"grantcadams","id":"95da6868-ed1e-4a11-867d-5f7989eb42a7","nickname":"Grant","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/4a31e0bb-3e8b-6554-1024-d7a689674e13-1554305005285.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_4a31e0bb-3e8b-6554-1024-d7a689674e13-1554305005285.jpeg","background_picture":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":4,"reaction_count":12,"following_count":17,"follower_count":11,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":2629,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["poem","health","growth","wellness","sickness","cancer","strength","loss","development","passion","compassion","friends","family"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2022-01-28T00:52:56.132625-08:00","created":"2019-05-04T02:41:58.704357-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"Too much time in the room for waiting\nHating the silence\nMy patience is grating\n","description":"A poem for anyone waiting to get well again. ","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1505924618867-ff42db34a861?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=pFoA5Pphb-Q","slug":"too-much-time-in-the-room-for-waitinghating-the--2","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-04T03:42:31.658070-07:00","published":"2019-05-04T03:42:31.658060-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/share/vid/9f9b15bd-392c-4f90-b4a8-f5b851bf5338-30.mp4","share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":142,"comment_count":1,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"95da6868-ed1e-4a11-867d-5f7989eb42a7","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"2682a781-da70-4ade-89f3-0283733226ec","reaction_count":25,"reaction_counts":{"NI":25,"all":25,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"conformingisboring","author_description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"There’s nothing left of you \nFor me to hold onto\nExcept this grief\nWhich in a way \nIs my final chance to say\nI loved you. ","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1440634755850-8c17b186ff93?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=Uo57slslxF0","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1440634755850-8c17b186ff93?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=Uo57slslxF0"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"conformingisboring","id":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","nickname":"Casey","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":1,"story_count":213,"reaction_count":371,"following_count":55,"follower_count":546,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":482222,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"lv2","badges":["lv1","gft","fqr","lv2"],"social_urls":{"instagram":"Conformingisboring"},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["feelings","love","loss","grief","poetry"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-03T21:15:29.168573-08:00","created":"2019-05-03T22:53:15.431650-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"There’s nothing left of you \nFor me to hold onto\nExcept this grief\nWhich in a way \nIs my final chance to say\nI loved you. ","description":"If actions speak louder than words, do my tears show you I loved you? ","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1440634755850-8c17b186ff93?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=Uo57slslxF0","slug":"theres-nothing-left-of-you-for-me-to-hold-ontoex","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-03T22:55:33.845114-07:00","published":"2019-05-03T22:55:33.845103-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":10,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"0950c789-f5b3-404f-9713-9cb06d0ce912","reaction_count":34,"reaction_counts":{"NI":34,"all":34,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"conformingisboring","author_description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"The stars in the sky ","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1516157934536-f22b47e703cf?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=zZBA-4XM5f0","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1516157934536-f22b47e703cf?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=zZBA-4XM5f0"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"conformingisboring","id":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","nickname":"Casey","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/CEAC617C-72EF-4AEE-A4B9-07C33882EC3E1631856533168.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_1d001212-56aa-3545-a51b-d0330c789492-1697744069306.jpeg","description":"ℌ𝔬𝔴 2 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔯 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":1,"story_count":213,"reaction_count":371,"following_count":55,"follower_count":546,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":482222,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"lv2","badges":["lv1","gft","fqr","lv2"],"social_urls":{"instagram":"Conformingisboring"},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["grief","loss","love","poem","poetry"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:20:30.544439-08:00","created":"2019-05-03T22:13:42.761676-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"The stars in the sky ","description":"I can’t write about my best friend. Idk it seems like everything is cliche, maybe this is too. But it’s too hard for me to write I miss you. ","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1516157934536-f22b47e703cf?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=zZBA-4XM5f0","slug":"the-stars-in-the-sky","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-03T22:17:07.319274-07:00","published":"2019-05-03T22:17:07.319263-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":94,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"8d4eb2df-6ab2-4a79-9e91-8b095b71d3fb","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"10bdf80c-0c0e-4b82-a6f8-f273dece5b31","reaction_count":14,"reaction_counts":{"NI":14,"all":14,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"omgitzkesha","author_description":"Expression through words and art! 💕","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"To my ex\n\nI learned a lot from you\nI lost myself trying to help build you up\nI found myself when I realized our relationship ran its course \nAlthough I will love you forever we are better as a team rather than one\nI forgive you\nI forgive me\nIs it possible to out grow your soulmate?","first_page_image":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/D179B994-41F4-46D1-A45D-A34E95EECF071556932782660.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/D179B994-41F4-46D1-A45D-A34E95EECF071556932782660.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/643912FE-4F7C-4841-B7DC-DD4C32AC12441556243851235.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"omgitzkesha","id":"74762c4b-5ad9-49da-922c-dbf4cb91dfd5","nickname":"Kesha","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/643912FE-4F7C-4841-B7DC-DD4C32AC12441556243851235.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/93769EF1-51E3-4B30-94EC-41CDE651E6661556244019292.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"Expression through words and art! 💕","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":7,"reaction_count":0,"following_count":22,"follower_count":7,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":67,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["marriage","family","divorce","love","loss","poems","poetry"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:03:21.456479-08:00","created":"2019-05-03T18:20:17.402799-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"To my ex\n\nI learned a lot from you\nI lost myself trying to help build you up\nI found myself when I realized our relationship ran its course \nAlthough I will love you forever we are better as a team rather than one\nI forgive you\nI forgive me\nIs it possi...","description":"A poem to My Ex husband ","thumbnail":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/D179B994-41F4-46D1-A45D-A34E95EECF071556932782660.jpg","slug":"to-my-exi-learned-a-lot-from-youi-lost-myself-tr","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-05-03T18:21:42.184340-07:00","published":"2019-05-03T18:21:42.184330-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":14,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"74762c4b-5ad9-49da-922c-dbf4cb91dfd5","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"1051623c-84c1-4a64-9e82-703244956c64","reaction_count":1,"reaction_counts":{"NI":1,"all":1,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"omgitzkesha","author_description":"Expression through words and art! 💕","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Death of a Stranger\n\n\nWe never met\nYet the day I heard of your passing my heart shattered\nMy body went numb because our last words were in dismay\nTwo strangers bounded by blood \nyet never met in the physical form\nNever having a face to face conversation\nMy regret is not letting the past go\nMy hope is that you found peace\nFor now I will live my life never knowing you\nThe death of a stranger \nWill never meet at least not in this lifetime\n","first_page_image":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/63722DA7-54FF-483D-B83A-FCA2E2913C461556598019948.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/63722DA7-54FF-483D-B83A-FCA2E2913C461556598019948.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/643912FE-4F7C-4841-B7DC-DD4C32AC12441556243851235.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"omgitzkesha","id":"74762c4b-5ad9-49da-922c-dbf4cb91dfd5","nickname":"Kesha","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/643912FE-4F7C-4841-B7DC-DD4C32AC12441556243851235.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/93769EF1-51E3-4B30-94EC-41CDE651E6661556244019292.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"Expression through words and art! 💕","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":7,"reaction_count":0,"following_count":22,"follower_count":7,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":67,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["emotional","family","reflection","loss","death","love","selflove","depression","anxiety","poetry","poems","lifestyle"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-03T21:19:58.576241-08:00","created":"2019-04-29T21:20:38.575921-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"Death of a Stranger\n\n\nWe never met\nYet the day I heard of your passing my heart shattered\nMy body went numb because our last words were in dismay\nTwo strangers bounded by blood \nyet never met in the physical form\nNever having a face to face conversatio...","description":"My thoughts and feelings of my biological father passing away.","thumbnail":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/63722DA7-54FF-483D-B83A-FCA2E2913C461556598019948.jpg","slug":"death-of-a-strangerwe-never-metyet-the-day-i-hea","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-04-29T21:22:42.313223-07:00","published":"2019-04-29T21:22:42.313211-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":3,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"74762c4b-5ad9-49da-922c-dbf4cb91dfd5","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"58928290-b593-4fa3-83bc-3dd23b96dd7d","reaction_count":53,"reaction_counts":{"NI":53,"all":53,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"young_author","author_description":"Just a person writing feelings.","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Like a Phoenix","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1451224222030-cee2f5dbcd10?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=C2a4RGapd8s","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1451224222030-cee2f5dbcd10?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=90&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=C2a4RGapd8s","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1451224222030-cee2f5dbcd10?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=480&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=C2a4RGapd8s","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1451224222030-cee2f5dbcd10?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=C2a4RGapd8s"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/f2458fff-9a62-60d1-eeca-637ec243f4e7-1550166063459.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"young_author","id":"047083a9-c902-40d5-bde8-8f3b7f679946","nickname":"Xander","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/f2458fff-9a62-60d1-eeca-637ec243f4e7-1550166063459.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_f2458fff-9a62-60d1-eeca-637ec243f4e7-1550166063459.jpeg","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/542cd8dd-0952-1c3b-6b2a-0a726b9b86f1-1582448611779.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_542cd8dd-0952-1c3b-6b2a-0a726b9b86f1-1582448611779.jpeg","description":"Just a person writing feelings.","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":8,"story_count":44,"reaction_count":680,"following_count":73,"follower_count":80,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":416542,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"gft","badges":["lv1","fqr","gft","lv2"],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["love","loss","hurting","pain"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2020-10-11T23:44:26.987724-07:00","created":"2019-04-16T17:44:21.595177-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"Like a Phoenix","description":"Just written out of pure pain. Hope you enjoy my life cuz I don’t ","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1451224222030-cee2f5dbcd10?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=C2a4RGapd8s","slug":"like-a-phoenix","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-04-29T16:29:51.767682-07:00","published":"2019-04-29T16:29:51.767670-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":272,"comment_count":1,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"047083a9-c902-40d5-bde8-8f3b7f679946","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"66264e4c-8544-49b3-af4e-8348e15d1208","reaction_count":2,"reaction_counts":{"NI":2,"all":2,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"apex","author_description":"eternally a work in progress","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Cheat","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1527236438218-d82077ae1f85?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=i-ePv9Dxg7U","first_page_images":{"s":"","m":"","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1527236438218-d82077ae1f85?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=i-ePv9Dxg7U"},"author_profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/9e185528-e65a-4ab5-94c4-f70c923f4d66-compressed1556440261616.jpg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"apex","id":"157df6b4-37db-463c-8d81-8c603eb1191b","nickname":"Apex","profile_picture":"https://pencilapp.s3.amazonaws.com/media/public/images/9e185528-e65a-4ab5-94c4-f70c923f4d66-compressed1556440261616.jpg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/wolf-profile-pic-thumb.png","background_picture":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"eternally a work in progress","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":35,"reaction_count":67,"following_count":11,"follower_count":14,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":98,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["troubled","cheat","love","affair","confused","confusion","confession","fear","loss"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-03T21:19:14.346730-08:00","created":"2019-04-28T16:29:29.868994-07:00","deleted":null,"title":"Cheat","description":"Troubled","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1527236438218-d82077ae1f85?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=720&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMjZ9&imgid=i-ePv9Dxg7U","slug":"cheat","categories":["RM"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2019-04-28T16:37:09.733926-07:00","published":"2019-04-28T16:37:09.733916-07:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":79,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"157df6b4-37db-463c-8d81-8c603eb1191b","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null}],"page":77}