{"count":2034,"next":"https://commaful.com/api/stories/tag/?page=32&tag=mentalhealth","previous":"https://commaful.com/api/stories/tag/?page=30&tag=mentalhealth","results":[{"id":"e48f4cb5-7122-4d4e-9df8-c9c9598c6cbf","reaction_count":28,"reaction_counts":{"NI":28,"all":28,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"lemonadebees","author_description":"quit - discord: lemon <3#2565 | they/it","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"TW - SH IMPLICATION - Recovery Leads to Relapse","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/95aa1838-fa8e-0661-43f9-82d8ebb3ef9d-1645549513890.jpeg","first_page_images":{"s":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/t_95aa1838-fa8e-0661-43f9-82d8ebb3ef9d-1645549513890.jpeg","m":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/m_95aa1838-fa8e-0661-43f9-82d8ebb3ef9d-1645549513890.jpeg","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/95aa1838-fa8e-0661-43f9-82d8ebb3ef9d-1645549513890.jpeg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1d37c0e1-d26b-2db3-f9a2-7b9ebeff1b8a-1641997217827.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"lemonadebees","id":"1d04c78f-8881-4d24-9906-3b03ef3edaa0","nickname":"Lemon","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1d37c0e1-d26b-2db3-f9a2-7b9ebeff1b8a-1641997217827.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_1d37c0e1-d26b-2db3-f9a2-7b9ebeff1b8a-1641997217827.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/37ccc10a-bfce-3b8c-207e-db9bd5e69e25-1641997240494.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_37ccc10a-bfce-3b8c-207e-db9bd5e69e25-1641997240494.jpeg","description":"quit - discord: lemon <3#2565 | they/it","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":8,"reaction_count":21,"following_count":1,"follower_count":37,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":64409,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":["lv1"],"social_urls":{"tumblr":"LemonadeBug","instagram":"LemonadeBees"},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["tw","triggerwarning","trigger warning","sh","self harm","selfharm","tw sh","tw: self-harm","mentalhealth","mental health","depression","clinical depression","mental illness","mentalillness","mentally ill","mentallyill","i am okay i promise","relapse","recovery","it will be okay"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:38:22.253440-08:00","created":"2022-01-24T06:05:59.708986-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"TW - SH IMPLICATION - Recovery Leads to Relapse","description":"I wrote the first half of this when I was losing it, and then the secondary half I wrote as almost a promise to myself. I mean it, recovery isn&#39;t linear. There will always be ups and downs when you&#39;re struggling with any addiction. From self harm to drugs. You will be okay,  I will be okay. The world is still turning, the mistakes you make late at night are in the past. \n\nBut it&#39;s so hard, going from constant endorphins on tap to struggling with making yourself feel. I hate my apathetic side, I hope I recover quickly. ","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/95aa1838-fa8e-0661-43f9-82d8ebb3ef9d-1645549513890.jpeg","slug":"tw---sh-implication---recovery-leads-to-relapse","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-22T09:07:23.705657-08:00","published":"2022-02-22T09:07:23.705643-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":141,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"1d04c78f-8881-4d24-9906-3b03ef3edaa0","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"ed8ba689-29d3-4ed4-8d23-8d5df8f7e22a","reaction_count":0,"reaction_counts":{"all":0,"top":[]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"leslieburditt","author_description":"Community member","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Misery","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1624681957366-4256ed6a62b0?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Mnx8bWlzZXJ5fGVufDB8fHx8MTY0NTE1MjE3NQ&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=4XSdSFgKm8k","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1624681957366-4256ed6a62b0?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Mnx8bWlzZXJ5fGVufDB8fHx8MTY0NTE1MjE3NQ&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=4XSdSFgKm8k","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1624681957366-4256ed6a62b0?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Mnx8bWlzZXJ5fGVufDB8fHx8MTY0NTE1MjE3NQ&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=4XSdSFgKm8k","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1624681957366-4256ed6a62b0?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Mnx8bWlzZXJ5fGVufDB8fHx8MTY0NTE1MjE3NQ&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=4XSdSFgKm8k"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/40dba10b-7ced-3a17-49ba-6aaa93cdb4bf-1638029960495.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"leslieburditt","id":"ac6efc5a-a3fd-4980-90ed-0d0d401cce92","nickname":"Leslie","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/40dba10b-7ced-3a17-49ba-6aaa93cdb4bf-1638029960495.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_40dba10b-7ced-3a17-49ba-6aaa93cdb4bf-1638029960495.jpeg","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/4272c8a5-8773-90da-d020-e05307cb48f4-1638029783113.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_4272c8a5-8773-90da-d020-e05307cb48f4-1638029783113.png","description":"","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":6,"reaction_count":4,"following_count":18,"follower_count":7,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":5147,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["mentalhealth","mental health","trauma","ptsd","depression","anxiety","bipolar","bpd","sadness","lost","lost-","broken"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2023-03-26T08:23:35.086834-07:00","created":"2022-02-17T18:32:55.462674-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Misery","description":"Misery must love my company. He is always lurking behind every aspect of my life. Every closed door, every shadowed corner, every piece of furniture, he&#39;s there. He peers out at me from time to time, some days more often than others. He seems to notice every single time that I laugh or even smile and taps me on the shoulder to whisper why I shouldn&#39;t be.\n","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1624681957366-4256ed6a62b0?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Mnx8bWlzZXJ5fGVufDB8fHx8MTY0NTE1MjE3NQ&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=4XSdSFgKm8k","slug":"misery","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-17T18:44:40.928865-08:00","published":"2022-02-17T18:44:40.928853-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":34,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"ac6efc5a-a3fd-4980-90ed-0d0d401cce92","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"fb876b0f-e6dd-49f7-b355-7dc817404613","reaction_count":30,"reaction_counts":{"NI":30,"all":30,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"ballofanxiety","author_description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"\n\n\n\n\n        The bright light of dawn","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1502447533750-9860c1269ae3?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NHx8ZGF3bnxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDUxMDUyODk&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=bNtzNloEXfE","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1502447533750-9860c1269ae3?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NHx8ZGF3bnxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDUxMDUyODk&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=bNtzNloEXfE","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1502447533750-9860c1269ae3?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NHx8ZGF3bnxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDUxMDUyODk&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=bNtzNloEXfE","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1502447533750-9860c1269ae3?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NHx8ZGF3bnxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDUxMDUyODk&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=bNtzNloEXfE"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"ballofanxiety","id":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","nickname":"BallOfAnxiety","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":19,"story_count":63,"reaction_count":242,"following_count":154,"follower_count":177,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":107408,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"gft","badges":["gft","lv1","fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{"about":"Hi! I am a ball of anxiety, opinions, and pure rage. It's So nice to see you! My pronouns are They/Them. I am a champion of social justice and mental health awareness. All are welcome here. This is where I post poetry but if you want more world building, character building and short stories head over to my alt @ballofanxiety2 ","reading":"I am a lover of fantasy and gay stuff. But I also enjoy more philosophical books."}},"type":"story","tags":["poetry","hope","hope-","feeling","feelings","emotions","feel","dawn","light","tunnel","mentalhealthmatters","mental","mentalhealth","mental health","(:","faith","dreams","postivity","postive","bright"],"series":{"title":"Motivational Messages","description":"Want some motivating poetry? this is the right place!","userId":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","is_public":true,"slug":"motivational-messages","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/e580761f-d2ed-67d5-313a-1ffbc9855aba-1654094997934.jpeg","banner_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/0d4576f9-581d-4e6f-c919-10126164eebf-1654095044222.png","first_story_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1496185106368-308ed96f204b?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NXx8d2Fsa2luZ3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NTM2NjM1NTY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=fRggLY1DQTM","user":{"username":"ballofanxiety","id":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","nickname":"BallOfAnxiety","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":19,"story_count":63,"reaction_count":242,"following_count":154,"follower_count":177,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":107408,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"gft","badges":["gft","lv1","fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{"about":"Hi! I am a ball of anxiety, opinions, and pure rage. It's So nice to see you! My pronouns are They/Them. I am a champion of social justice and mental health awareness. All are welcome here. This is where I post poetry but if you want more world building, character building and short stories head over to my alt @ballofanxiety2 ","reading":"I am a lover of fantasy and gay stuff. But I also enjoy more philosophical books."}},"is_following":null,"reaction_counts":{"all":0},"id":"6ae62dee-ac69-4e26-a970-b617819f5526","tags":["anxiety","mentalhealth","mental health","mentalhealthmatters","positivity","joy","feelings","motivational","poetry","poem","poems"],"story_count":14,"is_series":true,"type":"series","follower_count":0},"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2022-04-12T04:57:19.710465-07:00","created":"2022-02-17T05:21:53.467929-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"\n\n\n\n\n        The bright light of dawn","description":"Another one of my poems that focus on giving positive definitions to words/phrases.","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1502447533750-9860c1269ae3?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NHx8ZGF3bnxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDUxMDUyODk&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=bNtzNloEXfE","slug":"the-bright-light-of-dawn","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-17T10:27:06.871697-08:00","published":"2022-02-17T10:27:06.871681-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":129,"comment_count":2,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"ddc071aa-2317-41dc-a46b-8fb41d5389ec","reaction_count":47,"reaction_counts":{"NI":45,"all":45,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"inspiredbylife","author_description":"chaos makes the muse","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"this is what i see","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/5e7fdaf5-c1f8-439f-1fc8-ca54fdf6b9c8-1644975317550.jpeg","first_page_images":{"s":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/t_5e7fdaf5-c1f8-439f-1fc8-ca54fdf6b9c8-1644975317550.jpeg","m":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/m_5e7fdaf5-c1f8-439f-1fc8-ca54fdf6b9c8-1644975317550.jpeg","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/5e7fdaf5-c1f8-439f-1fc8-ca54fdf6b9c8-1644975317550.jpeg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1067ddb9-f2ae-0dd5-5832-20a843322239-1705022941400.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"inspiredbylife","id":"0a553e7d-a02f-44bc-ab01-951ceeda6695","nickname":"Sav","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1067ddb9-f2ae-0dd5-5832-20a843322239-1705022941400.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_1067ddb9-f2ae-0dd5-5832-20a843322239-1705022941400.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/b8310057-639c-86e0-3404-ae937251b436-1705350446610.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_b8310057-639c-86e0-3404-ae937251b436-1705350446610.jpeg","description":"chaos makes the muse","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":57,"story_count":253,"reaction_count":1411,"following_count":40,"follower_count":413,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":1248302,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"lv2","badges":["lv1","lv2","gft","fqr","pwr"],"social_urls":{"tumblr":"savburns ","instagram":"savwrites_"},"about":{"about":"chaos makes the muse","reading":"poetry, gut wrenching, soul crushing, poetry","writing":"uber depressed, intrusive thought-esque poetry "}},"type":"story","tags":["body dysmorphia","mentalhealth","mental health","triggers"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-02-06T17:48:52.351846-08:00","created":"2022-02-15T16:52:12.450289-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"this is what i see","description":"tw: body dysmorphia and i mean- maybe a touch of an e.d. if you squint- i hope it takes squinting to see it-\ni&#39;m fineeeeeeeee","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/5e7fdaf5-c1f8-439f-1fc8-ca54fdf6b9c8-1644975317550.jpeg","slug":"this-is-what-i-see","categories":[],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-15T17:47:44.781636-08:00","published":"2022-02-15T17:47:44.781619-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":1400,"comment_count":5,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"0a553e7d-a02f-44bc-ab01-951ceeda6695","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"ff6c30c7-06d2-4999-a19f-159af3d91d30","reaction_count":2,"reaction_counts":{"NI":2,"all":2,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"raeven","author_description":"Community member","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"I want to write but I feel so much self hatred for it. \n\n\nEverything around it feels meaningless except the future I am working towards, but even that feels less and less ideal due to how much I am struggling to achieve it. I don't know what to do. ","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1591243474642-7a3113970464?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8N3x8TG9zdHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ5Njc5Mzg&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=UV6X6lrF4fY","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1591243474642-7a3113970464?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8N3x8TG9zdHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ5Njc5Mzg&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=UV6X6lrF4fY","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1591243474642-7a3113970464?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8N3x8TG9zdHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ5Njc5Mzg&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=UV6X6lrF4fY","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1591243474642-7a3113970464?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8N3x8TG9zdHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ5Njc5Mzg&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=UV6X6lrF4fY"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/da7c91eb-de00-5b6d-5433-79b94aefec2c-1644804294122.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"raeven","id":"789242a0-1138-45f1-91a7-1710dd5a8656","nickname":"Ben","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/da7c91eb-de00-5b6d-5433-79b94aefec2c-1644804294122.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_da7c91eb-de00-5b6d-5433-79b94aefec2c-1644804294122.jpeg","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/d1c466a9-eb15-41e5-5125-64d8088def58-1644804342222.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_d1c466a9-eb15-41e5-5125-64d8088def58-1644804342222.jpeg","description":"","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":4,"reaction_count":0,"following_count":12,"follower_count":7,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":1276,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["mentalhealth","mental health","thoughts","feelings","deep","philosophy","self care","selfcare","mental illness","mentalillness"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:12:19.744213-08:00","created":"2022-02-15T15:26:19.820179-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"I want to write but I feel so much self hatred for it. \n\n\nEverything around it feels meaningless except the future I am working towards, but even that feels less and less ideal due to how much I am struggling to achieve it. I don't know what to do. ","description":"","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1591243474642-7a3113970464?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8N3x8TG9zdHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ5Njc5Mzg&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=UV6X6lrF4fY","slug":"struggling","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-15T15:29:25.355265-08:00","published":"2022-02-15T15:29:25.355251-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":0,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"789242a0-1138-45f1-91a7-1710dd5a8656","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"2897c87d-8ff3-4989-9558-e97beed89785","reaction_count":22,"reaction_counts":{"NI":22,"all":22,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"ballofanxiety","author_description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Guilt","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1522972713129-e0836d948b9c?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8Z3VpbHR8ZW58MHx8fHwxNjQ0OTMwMjc4&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=krUUaZ4GvHk","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1522972713129-e0836d948b9c?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8Z3VpbHR8ZW58MHx8fHwxNjQ0OTMwMjc4&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=krUUaZ4GvHk","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1522972713129-e0836d948b9c?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8Z3VpbHR8ZW58MHx8fHwxNjQ0OTMwMjc4&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=krUUaZ4GvHk","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1522972713129-e0836d948b9c?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8Z3VpbHR8ZW58MHx8fHwxNjQ0OTMwMjc4&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=krUUaZ4GvHk"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"ballofanxiety","id":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","nickname":"BallOfAnxiety","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":19,"story_count":63,"reaction_count":242,"following_count":154,"follower_count":177,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":107408,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"gft","badges":["gft","lv1","fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{"about":"Hi! I am a ball of anxiety, opinions, and pure rage. It's So nice to see you! My pronouns are They/Them. I am a champion of social justice and mental health awareness. All are welcome here. This is where I post poetry but if you want more world building, character building and short stories head over to my alt @ballofanxiety2 ","reading":"I am a lover of fantasy and gay stuff. But I also enjoy more philosophical books."}},"type":"story","tags":["feelings","guilt","challenge","mistake","slipup","grief","darkness","dark ness","menatl","mentalhealth","mental health","mentalhealthmatters","help","enpowerment"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2022-04-12T04:57:25.394010-07:00","created":"2022-02-15T05:04:26.609442-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Guilt","description":"Guilt can be difficult  so I wrote a poem about it.","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1522972713129-e0836d948b9c?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8Z3VpbHR8ZW58MHx8fHwxNjQ0OTMwMjc4&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=krUUaZ4GvHk","slug":"guilt","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-15T06:12:28.964948-08:00","published":"2022-02-15T06:12:28.964938-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":48,"comment_count":2,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"00b1048d-7715-4d02-a6d5-ba94a97d0edf","reaction_count":29,"reaction_counts":{"NI":28,"all":28,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"leslieburditt","author_description":"Community member","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Goodbye Misery","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1614366019077-74906d121985?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Mjh8fGZhcm1ob3VzZXxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ3Njk3MTA&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=B0Sh1Zi2b2k","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1614366019077-74906d121985?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Mjh8fGZhcm1ob3VzZXxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ3Njk3MTA&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=B0Sh1Zi2b2k","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1614366019077-74906d121985?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Mjh8fGZhcm1ob3VzZXxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ3Njk3MTA&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=B0Sh1Zi2b2k","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1614366019077-74906d121985?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Mjh8fGZhcm1ob3VzZXxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ3Njk3MTA&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=B0Sh1Zi2b2k"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/40dba10b-7ced-3a17-49ba-6aaa93cdb4bf-1638029960495.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"leslieburditt","id":"ac6efc5a-a3fd-4980-90ed-0d0d401cce92","nickname":"Leslie","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/40dba10b-7ced-3a17-49ba-6aaa93cdb4bf-1638029960495.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_40dba10b-7ced-3a17-49ba-6aaa93cdb4bf-1638029960495.jpeg","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/4272c8a5-8773-90da-d020-e05307cb48f4-1638029783113.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_4272c8a5-8773-90da-d020-e05307cb48f4-1638029783113.png","description":"","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":6,"reaction_count":4,"following_count":18,"follower_count":7,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":5147,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["mentalhealth","mental health","emotionalabuse","emotional abuse","financial abuse","domestic violence","domesticviolence","spiritual awakening","religion","come back","comeback","riseup","rise up","greatful"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2023-03-26T08:07:41.252701-07:00","created":"2022-02-13T07:13:29.489317-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Goodbye Misery","description":"She smiles as the warm sun penetrates the window, greeting her for the first time today. She awakens with a sense of fresh beginnings every morning. The stress, guilt, animosity, and resentment of the night before, washed away with a refreshing night&#39;s sleep.\n","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1614366019077-74906d121985?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Mjh8fGZhcm1ob3VzZXxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ3Njk3MTA&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=B0Sh1Zi2b2k","slug":"untitled","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-13T08:28:09.452844-08:00","published":"2022-02-13T08:28:09.452831-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":195,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"ac6efc5a-a3fd-4980-90ed-0d0d401cce92","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"235060ab-144d-4eb3-b2d6-b4f5152f6484","reaction_count":25,"reaction_counts":{"NI":25,"all":25,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"africanprince_","author_description":"Poems and stories","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Sitting alone\n\nWritten by AfricanPrince ","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1504903271097-d7e7c7f5f7ad?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Nnx8RGFya3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ2MTAyMzE&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=xl2piFfdzyA","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1504903271097-d7e7c7f5f7ad?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Nnx8RGFya3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ2MTAyMzE&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=xl2piFfdzyA","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1504903271097-d7e7c7f5f7ad?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Nnx8RGFya3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ2MTAyMzE&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=xl2piFfdzyA","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1504903271097-d7e7c7f5f7ad?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Nnx8RGFya3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ2MTAyMzE&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=xl2piFfdzyA"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/4241b30f-3a87-597f-75c2-6ec2150cb928-1656624895811.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"africanprince_","id":"faf790b9-5993-485d-b843-db1e904e1486","nickname":"Tzkatsu","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/4241b30f-3a87-597f-75c2-6ec2150cb928-1656624895811.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_4241b30f-3a87-597f-75c2-6ec2150cb928-1656624895811.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/446859b5-6795-a11a-6bb3-5958340cd92f-1642705623624.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_446859b5-6795-a11a-6bb3-5958340cd92f-1642705623624.jpeg","description":"Poems and stories","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":1,"story_count":11,"reaction_count":19,"following_count":139,"follower_count":37,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":2499,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["nonfiction","non-fiction","fiction","poems","poet","author","life","depressed","sad","advice","mentalhealth","mental health","fight","mind"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:28:59.382640-08:00","created":"2022-02-12T00:16:02.668657-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Sitting Alone ","description":"Sitting alone a short story made by me ","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1504903271097-d7e7c7f5f7ad?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8Nnx8RGFya3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ2MTAyMzE&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=xl2piFfdzyA","slug":"sitting-alone","categories":["FF"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-12T00:22:35.774734-08:00","published":"2022-02-12T00:22:35.774721-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":32,"comment_count":0,"dedications":[],"draft_text":null,"draft_details":{},"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"faf790b9-5993-485d-b843-db1e904e1486","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"b2aca301-549c-431d-9f3c-2276b393f0e6","reaction_count":24,"reaction_counts":{"NI":24,"all":24,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"jbo","author_description":"Learn & yearn Twitter@CognitoErgoSlam","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Dear Stranger, where is the fire in your eyes?","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1586957960362-65815d739527?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8bGV0dGVyfGVufDB8fHx8MTY0NDU5Mzk4Mw&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=qdUDnCjo7e0","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1586957960362-65815d739527?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8bGV0dGVyfGVufDB8fHx8MTY0NDU5Mzk4Mw&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=qdUDnCjo7e0","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1586957960362-65815d739527?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8bGV0dGVyfGVufDB8fHx8MTY0NDU5Mzk4Mw&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=qdUDnCjo7e0","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1586957960362-65815d739527?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8bGV0dGVyfGVufDB8fHx8MTY0NDU5Mzk4Mw&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=qdUDnCjo7e0"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/e434dcce-0903-9c92-2838-286fd7bfb71c-1571212125799.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"jbo","id":"47150e90-9d26-44cf-a036-173b5b507e3b","nickname":"Jason","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/e434dcce-0903-9c92-2838-286fd7bfb71c-1571212125799.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_e434dcce-0903-9c92-2838-286fd7bfb71c-1571212125799.jpeg","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/3db40244-4c23-efcb-e16c-d38876715fd8-1571229413401.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_3db40244-4c23-efcb-e16c-d38876715fd8-1571229413401.jpeg","description":"Learn & yearn Twitter@CognitoErgoSlam","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":107,"story_count":738,"reaction_count":2979,"following_count":261,"follower_count":1601,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":1485452,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"gft","badges":["lv1","gft","fqr","lv2","pwr","str"],"social_urls":{},"about":{"about":"I try to be authentic in who I am and what I write. I do so because I hope that one day I will naturally progress to be somebody that people find a sense of hope and resonate with people who have struggled. I want to share my optimism and my wisdom and I don't want to compromise my own natural twang and sense of self. I write with the hope that someone if only a handful will find something that drives them forward. \nI am a Bahai follower. I am earth-born and earthbound like you my human family member. I hope you enjoy reading at least one of my pieces and wish you a long life and prosperity.","reading":"Anything that makes me think deeply.","writing":"I write to tap into my unconscious mind, to help others, to journal, and so my child can one day get a deeper insight into my soul and/or mind. "}},"type":"story","tags":["hope","hope-","optimism","mentalhealth","mental health","depression","strength","pain","life"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:11:25.925512-08:00","created":"2022-02-11T15:31:21.112226-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Dear Stranger, where is the fire in your eyes?","description":"I want you to know that in the downpour of pain there is a relief that you can gain. Though as the quandaries of life remain you have learned to never abstain.\n","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1586957960362-65815d739527?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8bGV0dGVyfGVufDB8fHx8MTY0NDU5Mzk4Mw&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=qdUDnCjo7e0","slug":"dear-stranger-where-is-the-fire-in-your-eyes","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-11T15:44:03.771819-08:00","published":"2022-02-11T15:44:03.771810-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":97,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"47150e90-9d26-44cf-a036-173b5b507e3b","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"facdcaa8-2744-4a92-83d7-ee03b269fb85","reaction_count":12,"reaction_counts":{"NI":12,"all":12,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"cattvaughan","author_description":"I write romantic and sad poetry books...","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"That Forgotten Enemy","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/8e629a3c-3f67-bcf6-ae56-8c169d9e2b91-1644601175455.png","first_page_images":{"s":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/t_8e629a3c-3f67-bcf6-ae56-8c169d9e2b91-1644601175455.png","m":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/m_8e629a3c-3f67-bcf6-ae56-8c169d9e2b91-1644601175455.png","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/8e629a3c-3f67-bcf6-ae56-8c169d9e2b91-1644601175455.png"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/818e1b87-3687-1749-d9f4-82572daafdb7-1644248817716.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"cattvaughan","id":"e7f72421-7d9a-47d5-9bab-513d3c8d48cb","nickname":"Catherine Vaughan","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/818e1b87-3687-1749-d9f4-82572daafdb7-1644248817716.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_818e1b87-3687-1749-d9f4-82572daafdb7-1644248817716.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/b3bda6ff-37df-673b-0af1-a07d8900ca61-1644601557613.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_b3bda6ff-37df-673b-0af1-a07d8900ca61-1644601557613.png","description":"I write romantic and sad poetry books...","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":3,"reaction_count":1,"following_count":9,"follower_count":10,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":679,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["eating+disorders","eating disorders","millennial","anorexia","mentalhealth","mental health","depression","anxiety","teen years","teenager","childhood","mother","daughter","enemies","quarterlife crisis","quarter life"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:33:05.063758-08:00","created":"2022-02-11T09:34:09.853355-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"That Forgotten Enemy","description":"Mother birthing anorexia and self-loathing....\n\nSource: https://amzn.to/3gHEjCO","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/8e629a3c-3f67-bcf6-ae56-8c169d9e2b91-1644601175455.png","slug":"that-forgotten-enemy","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-11T09:40:57.235945-08:00","published":"2022-02-11T09:40:57.235932-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":112,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"e7f72421-7d9a-47d5-9bab-513d3c8d48cb","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"4039efcb-1d30-441f-ba82-890e841c5b1d","reaction_count":7,"reaction_counts":{"NI":7,"all":7,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"ballofanxiety","author_description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Brave","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1520596880803-6ea0113a42d1?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8bGVhcHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ1ODMwNDM&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=lKkD6DY7FVw","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1520596880803-6ea0113a42d1?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8bGVhcHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ1ODMwNDM&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=lKkD6DY7FVw","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1520596880803-6ea0113a42d1?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8bGVhcHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ1ODMwNDM&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=lKkD6DY7FVw","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1520596880803-6ea0113a42d1?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8bGVhcHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ1ODMwNDM&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=lKkD6DY7FVw"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"ballofanxiety","id":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","nickname":"BallOfAnxiety","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":19,"story_count":63,"reaction_count":242,"following_count":154,"follower_count":177,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":107408,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"gft","badges":["gft","lv1","fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{"about":"Hi! I am a ball of anxiety, opinions, and pure rage. It's So nice to see you! My pronouns are They/Them. I am a champion of social justice and mental health awareness. All are welcome here. This is where I post poetry but if you want more world building, character building and short stories head over to my alt @ballofanxiety2 ","reading":"I am a lover of fantasy and gay stuff. But I also enjoy more philosophical books."}},"type":"story","tags":["bravery","feelings","hardship","enpowerment","enpowering","mentalhealth","mental health","acaptence","feel","strength","powerful","justice","you are not alone","youarenotalone","thearpy","grief","opinionsandpoetry"],"series":{"title":"Motivational Messages","description":"Want some motivating poetry? this is the right place!","userId":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","is_public":true,"slug":"motivational-messages","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/e580761f-d2ed-67d5-313a-1ffbc9855aba-1654094997934.jpeg","banner_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/0d4576f9-581d-4e6f-c919-10126164eebf-1654095044222.png","first_story_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1496185106368-308ed96f204b?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NXx8d2Fsa2luZ3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NTM2NjM1NTY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=fRggLY1DQTM","user":{"username":"ballofanxiety","id":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","nickname":"BallOfAnxiety","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":19,"story_count":63,"reaction_count":242,"following_count":154,"follower_count":177,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":107408,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"gft","badges":["gft","lv1","fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{"about":"Hi! I am a ball of anxiety, opinions, and pure rage. It's So nice to see you! My pronouns are They/Them. I am a champion of social justice and mental health awareness. All are welcome here. This is where I post poetry but if you want more world building, character building and short stories head over to my alt @ballofanxiety2 ","reading":"I am a lover of fantasy and gay stuff. But I also enjoy more philosophical books."}},"is_following":null,"reaction_counts":{"all":0},"id":"6ae62dee-ac69-4e26-a970-b617819f5526","tags":["anxiety","mentalhealth","mental health","mentalhealthmatters","positivity","joy","feelings","motivational","poetry","poem","poems"],"story_count":14,"is_series":true,"type":"series","follower_count":0},"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2022-04-12T04:57:47.222460-07:00","created":"2022-02-11T04:37:09.967635-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Brave","description":"What does being brave mean?","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1520596880803-6ea0113a42d1?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8bGVhcHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ1ODMwNDM&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=lKkD6DY7FVw","slug":"brave","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-11T05:42:51.587651-08:00","published":"2022-02-11T05:42:51.587637-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":58,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"569c1c7e-6c5e-45cc-b1fa-800608d930ee","reaction_count":0,"reaction_counts":{"all":0,"top":[]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"distant_ocean","author_description":"I lost my faith in everything","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Morning thoughts","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/95bfbde1-0904-2cad-513d-b22dc8231688-1644523249728.jpeg","first_page_images":{"s":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/t_95bfbde1-0904-2cad-513d-b22dc8231688-1644523249728.jpeg","m":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/m_95bfbde1-0904-2cad-513d-b22dc8231688-1644523249728.jpeg","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/95bfbde1-0904-2cad-513d-b22dc8231688-1644523249728.jpeg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/5c47f63e-6239-244f-c0b2-da73f44141d1-1644766869349.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"distant_ocean","id":"b3228f13-8c63-4ac9-985b-382496f3f4dc","nickname":"Joost","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/5c47f63e-6239-244f-c0b2-da73f44141d1-1644766869349.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_5c47f63e-6239-244f-c0b2-da73f44141d1-1644766869349.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/15e942c6-3a12-70d4-ce81-f367ae8bd8a1-1644907436031.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_15e942c6-3a12-70d4-ce81-f367ae8bd8a1-1644907436031.jpeg","description":"I lost my faith in everything","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":19,"reaction_count":21,"following_count":3,"follower_count":7,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":60742,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["anhedonia","emptiness","healing","emotions","feelings","mentalhealth","mental health"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2023-10-05T21:02:42.089428-07:00","created":"2022-02-10T09:57:46.054062-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Morning thoughts","description":"Emptiness has conquered my mind once again. My emotions came back for a few months whilst psychosis took over my body. Now I’m back in the devil’s den. Once again no anticipation to any vacation. I can’t get no satisfaction\u2028. No literally, I’m not talking a bad evening, a bad day or even a bad week. I couldn’t experience any pleasure whatsoever for 6 months before my psychosis. Now I’m seemingly back to square one.  And if you think how bad could that be, no pleasure for half a year? Imagine depriving yourself of anything even remotely pleasurable for a considerable amount of time. If that is even possible. There must be something more than feeling good which compels animals to want to live you might think. \u2028Well perhaps there is, because despite my condition I do not actively seek to end my life. Even before the anhedonia, when I was depressed I had more suicidal tendencies while I didn’t necessarily feel worse.\nNow I either want to peacefully stop existing or to feel something again\nIt is the hope to recover which keeps me going most of all. I want to be able to leave this intense suffering behind. I want to be able to laugh and feel joy. I want to be able to listen to my favourite songs and feel warm inside. I want to be able to be overwhelmed with nostalgia instead of feeling a certain disconnect. I don’t want to feel so intensely empty when I do the things which are supposed to make life worth living. I don’t think I’ll ever figure out a way to live this way. I want to feel alive again, that’s all. My feelings which belong to me restored. \u2028If there’s some higher power, please answer me. \u2028No-one likes to be ignored.  ","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/95bfbde1-0904-2cad-513d-b22dc8231688-1644523249728.jpeg","slug":"numb","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-10T10:44:47.289616-08:00","published":"2022-02-10T10:44:47.289603-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":455,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"b3228f13-8c63-4ac9-985b-382496f3f4dc","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"7c3a8ab9-a1f0-4887-b547-8cb2f7f2769a","reaction_count":13,"reaction_counts":{"NI":13,"all":13,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"alluringin","author_description":"The next rockstar like Kurt & Daniel","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Rescue ","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/2c9d50ab-4d04-23fb-d2f0-e74d01b33cab-1644488114268.jpeg","first_page_images":{"s":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/t_2c9d50ab-4d04-23fb-d2f0-e74d01b33cab-1644488114268.jpeg","m":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/m_2c9d50ab-4d04-23fb-d2f0-e74d01b33cab-1644488114268.jpeg","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/2c9d50ab-4d04-23fb-d2f0-e74d01b33cab-1644488114268.jpeg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/c26690fb-fe50-f8eb-d528-cee57ba9fc27-1644458403453.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"alluringin","id":"394b759c-e84b-46ce-97bd-df5a14228f30","nickname":"Case","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/c26690fb-fe50-f8eb-d528-cee57ba9fc27-1644458403453.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_c26690fb-fe50-f8eb-d528-cee57ba9fc27-1644458403453.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/bccb0d30-d2ad-c463-a6dc-fb1dd9198bdf-1644458486463.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_bccb0d30-d2ad-c463-a6dc-fb1dd9198bdf-1644458486463.jpeg","description":"The next rockstar like Kurt & Daniel","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":10,"reaction_count":3,"following_count":20,"follower_count":21,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":2587,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["feelings","poetry","poems","lyrics","poem","lyric","silverchair","suicidaldreams","sadness","emotions","depression","thoughts","savior","mentalhealth","mental health","mental illness","mentalillness"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2024-03-04T00:29:47.943308-08:00","created":"2022-02-10T02:14:04.113894-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Rescue ","description":"I&#39;m actually depressed  ","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/2c9d50ab-4d04-23fb-d2f0-e74d01b33cab-1644488114268.jpeg","slug":"rescue","categories":["FC"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-10T02:16:34.683999-08:00","published":"2022-02-10T02:16:34.683989-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":32,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"394b759c-e84b-46ce-97bd-df5a14228f30","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"417c80bf-64b3-4386-bfac-0ff7701bebd7","reaction_count":30,"reaction_counts":{"NI":30,"all":30,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"ballofanxiety","author_description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Fight","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1518601794912-1af91724e528?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8ZmlzdHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ0MTc2MzY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=e-TuK4z2LhY","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1518601794912-1af91724e528?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8ZmlzdHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ0MTc2MzY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=e-TuK4z2LhY","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1518601794912-1af91724e528?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8ZmlzdHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ0MTc2MzY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=e-TuK4z2LhY","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1518601794912-1af91724e528?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8ZmlzdHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ0MTc2MzY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=e-TuK4z2LhY"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"ballofanxiety","id":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","nickname":"BallOfAnxiety","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":19,"story_count":63,"reaction_count":242,"following_count":154,"follower_count":177,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":107408,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"gft","badges":["gft","lv1","fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{"about":"Hi! I am a ball of anxiety, opinions, and pure rage. It's So nice to see you! My pronouns are They/Them. I am a champion of social justice and mental health awareness. All are welcome here. This is where I post poetry but if you want more world building, character building and short stories head over to my alt @ballofanxiety2 ","reading":"I am a lover of fantasy and gay stuff. But I also enjoy more philosophical books."}},"type":"story","tags":["fighting","feelings","feeling","encourange","strength","mountain","fight","protests","activisim","protest","advicate","menatalhealth","mentalhealth","mental health","mind","fightthegoodfight"],"series":{"title":"Motivational Messages","description":"Want some motivating poetry? this is the right place!","userId":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","is_public":true,"slug":"motivational-messages","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/e580761f-d2ed-67d5-313a-1ffbc9855aba-1654094997934.jpeg","banner_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/0d4576f9-581d-4e6f-c919-10126164eebf-1654095044222.png","first_story_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1496185106368-308ed96f204b?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NXx8d2Fsa2luZ3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NTM2NjM1NTY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=fRggLY1DQTM","user":{"username":"ballofanxiety","id":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","nickname":"BallOfAnxiety","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":19,"story_count":63,"reaction_count":242,"following_count":154,"follower_count":177,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":107408,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"gft","badges":["gft","lv1","fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{"about":"Hi! I am a ball of anxiety, opinions, and pure rage. It's So nice to see you! My pronouns are They/Them. I am a champion of social justice and mental health awareness. All are welcome here. This is where I post poetry but if you want more world building, character building and short stories head over to my alt @ballofanxiety2 ","reading":"I am a lover of fantasy and gay stuff. But I also enjoy more philosophical books."}},"is_following":null,"reaction_counts":{"all":0},"id":"6ae62dee-ac69-4e26-a970-b617819f5526","tags":["anxiety","mentalhealth","mental health","mentalhealthmatters","positivity","joy","feelings","motivational","poetry","poem","poems"],"story_count":14,"is_series":true,"type":"series","follower_count":0},"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2022-08-20T16:37:41.572069-07:00","created":"2022-02-09T06:58:50.436487-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Fight","description":"This is just a quick little freestyle poem about the importance to fight. ","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1518601794912-1af91724e528?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8ZmlzdHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQ0MTc2MzY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=e-TuK4z2LhY","slug":"fight","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-09T10:13:19.453631-08:00","published":"2022-02-09T10:13:19.453621-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":181,"comment_count":2,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"03dd3b99-833d-4cdf-a5ce-620ea1d3f818","reaction_count":14,"reaction_counts":{"NI":14,"all":14,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"lemonadebees","author_description":"quit - discord: lemon <3#2565 | they/it","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"MAJOR TW SH // \"Geez, your cat must hate you\"","first_page_image":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/blurred/sunrise213.jpg","first_page_images":{"s":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/blurred/sunrise213.jpg","m":null,"l":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/blurred/sunrise213.jpg"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1d37c0e1-d26b-2db3-f9a2-7b9ebeff1b8a-1641997217827.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"lemonadebees","id":"1d04c78f-8881-4d24-9906-3b03ef3edaa0","nickname":"Lemon","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/1d37c0e1-d26b-2db3-f9a2-7b9ebeff1b8a-1641997217827.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_1d37c0e1-d26b-2db3-f9a2-7b9ebeff1b8a-1641997217827.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/37ccc10a-bfce-3b8c-207e-db9bd5e69e25-1641997240494.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_37ccc10a-bfce-3b8c-207e-db9bd5e69e25-1641997240494.jpeg","description":"quit - discord: lemon <3#2565 | they/it","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":8,"reaction_count":21,"following_count":1,"follower_count":37,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":64409,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":["lv1"],"social_urls":{"tumblr":"LemonadeBug","instagram":"LemonadeBees"},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["feelings","poetry","tw","triggerwarning","trigger warning","selfharm","self harm","tw sh","sh","depression","mental illness","mentalillness","mentalhealth","mental health","mental","illness"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2023-07-15T15:19:06.446682-07:00","created":"2022-02-07T08:30:57.014983-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"MAJOR TW SH // \"Geez, your cat must hate you\"","description":"MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING - DEPICTED SELF HARM.  -- I dunno. I wrote this as a spit write, and I&#39;m just trying to channel my emotions before I allow them to topple over again. ","thumbnail":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/blurred/sunrise213.jpg","slug":"major-tw-sh--geez-your-cat-must-hate-you","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-07T08:53:42.670864-08:00","published":"2022-02-07T08:53:42.670853-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":439,"comment_count":2,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"1d04c78f-8881-4d24-9906-3b03ef3edaa0","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"8faffc8e-4a54-448f-a0cc-3863c3b957e7","reaction_count":16,"reaction_counts":{"NI":16,"all":16,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":1,"username":"ballofanxiety","author_description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Together\n\nBy: BallOfAnxiety","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1580341999466-e05436b9dc86?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NTl8fGhvbGRpbmclMjBoYW5kc3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQyMzgzMDA&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=L6kEF4sVy8U","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1580341999466-e05436b9dc86?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NTl8fGhvbGRpbmclMjBoYW5kc3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQyMzgzMDA&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=L6kEF4sVy8U","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1580341999466-e05436b9dc86?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NTl8fGhvbGRpbmclMjBoYW5kc3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQyMzgzMDA&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=L6kEF4sVy8U","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1580341999466-e05436b9dc86?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NTl8fGhvbGRpbmclMjBoYW5kc3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQyMzgzMDA&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=L6kEF4sVy8U"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"ballofanxiety","id":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","nickname":"BallOfAnxiety","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_aad3ea3b-7a02-2fa1-ca6e-0d2a441bc83e-1654093711134.png","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_89f7e7cb-896d-c1c2-8ba1-e634cac6b594-1663590768932.png","description":"Defeats enemies with the power of poetry","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":19,"story_count":63,"reaction_count":242,"following_count":154,"follower_count":177,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":107408,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"gft","badges":["gft","lv1","fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{"about":"Hi! I am a ball of anxiety, opinions, and pure rage. It's So nice to see you! My pronouns are They/Them. I am a champion of social justice and mental health awareness. All are welcome here. This is where I post poetry but if you want more world building, character building and short stories head over to my alt @ballofanxiety2 ","reading":"I am a lover of fantasy and gay stuff. But I also enjoy more philosophical books."}},"type":"story","tags":["anxiety","enpowerment","poetry","mentalhealth","mental health","feeling","feelings","mentalhealthmatters","togetherness","togetherness-","meaning","family","together","together-","strength","power","ballofanxiety","covid 19","covid","abyss","staystrong","stay strong"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2023-12-29T10:47:43.067704-08:00","created":"2022-02-07T04:50:43.316072-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Together\n\nBy: BallOfAnxiety","description":"This poem explores our need to support each other through hardships and the struggles of mental health.\n","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1580341999466-e05436b9dc86?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NTl8fGhvbGRpbmclMjBoYW5kc3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQyMzgzMDA&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=L6kEF4sVy8U","slug":"togetherby-ballofanxiety","categories":["PT"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-07T05:27:57.576810-08:00","published":"2022-02-07T05:27:57.576797-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":94,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"9355210d-458f-4eef-9443-32aa1b2585c8","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"1d180ea0-66dd-41a6-b2fa-de49f00392db","reaction_count":40,"reaction_counts":{"NI":38,"all":38,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"urlocalbitch","author_description":"Homie Hopper tbh-","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Talking About The \"Faking Disorders\" Issue PT. 2 (Feat. My Friend)","first_page_image":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/cccf671d-20a4-fed2-753e-84cbc2170b55-1644181019318.png","first_page_images":{"s":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/t_cccf671d-20a4-fed2-753e-84cbc2170b55-1644181019318.png","m":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/m_cccf671d-20a4-fed2-753e-84cbc2170b55-1644181019318.png","l":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/cccf671d-20a4-fed2-753e-84cbc2170b55-1644181019318.png"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/73b21c55-96f0-a3be-77c4-b8341b859d9c-1651355776754.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"urlocalbitch","id":"f6eb50bd-1149-40bb-9b46-4cb850f6a2ec","nickname":"ur dad loves me :)","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/73b21c55-96f0-a3be-77c4-b8341b859d9c-1651355776754.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_73b21c55-96f0-a3be-77c4-b8341b859d9c-1651355776754.jpeg","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/5856d36a-e6f1-f261-66fb-55d52875697b-1652811115993.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_5856d36a-e6f1-f261-66fb-55d52875697b-1652811115993.jpeg","description":"Homie Hopper tbh-","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":26,"story_count":165,"reaction_count":171,"following_count":198,"follower_count":180,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":165339,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"fqr","badges":["lv1","gft","lv2","fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["part 2","part2","mentalhealthawareness","mental health awareness","mentalhealth","mental health","faking disorders"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2023-11-05T17:43:35.967058-08:00","created":"2022-02-06T12:15:38.451140-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Talking About The \"Faking Disorders\" Issue PT. 2 (Feat. My Friend)","description":"why must society be like this","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/cccf671d-20a4-fed2-753e-84cbc2170b55-1644181019318.png","slug":"talking-about-the-faking-disorders-issue-pt-2-feat","categories":[],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-06T13:00:11.986780-08:00","published":"2022-02-06T13:00:11.986767-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":57,"comment_count":1,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"f6eb50bd-1149-40bb-9b46-4cb850f6a2ec","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"89961b79-2ba3-4b13-82f2-3658b1af8597","reaction_count":8,"reaction_counts":{"NI":7,"all":7,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"authorlocke","author_description":"lgbtq+ fantasy is my jam personally","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Paranormal Boys: Chapter 17","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1553172574-1eb37430181e?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8MjB8fGRvcm18ZW58MHx8fHwxNjQ0MTQxNDE0&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=YRLzG_4X-KE","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1553172574-1eb37430181e?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8MjB8fGRvcm18ZW58MHx8fHwxNjQ0MTQxNDE0&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=YRLzG_4X-KE","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1553172574-1eb37430181e?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8MjB8fGRvcm18ZW58MHx8fHwxNjQ0MTQxNDE0&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=YRLzG_4X-KE","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1553172574-1eb37430181e?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8MjB8fGRvcm18ZW58MHx8fHwxNjQ0MTQxNDE0&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=YRLzG_4X-KE"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/9f852e6e-0fa8-d1eb-7338-9aeae9fd657c-1624135791689.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"authorlocke","id":"9d57aecd-37ae-4a13-85be-372bd3322fb8","nickname":"abigail","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/9f852e6e-0fa8-d1eb-7338-9aeae9fd657c-1624135791689.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_9f852e6e-0fa8-d1eb-7338-9aeae9fd657c-1624135791689.jpeg","background_picture":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"lgbtq+ fantasy is my jam personally","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":42,"reaction_count":64,"following_count":14,"follower_count":94,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":144301,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":["fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["vampire","paranormal","supernatural","super natural","lgbtq","werewolf","fangs","anxiety","mentalhealth","mental health","gay","college","roommates"],"series":{"title":"Paranormal Boys","description":"","userId":"9d57aecd-37ae-4a13-85be-372bd3322fb8","is_public":true,"slug":"paranormal-boys","thumbnail":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/e3111e21-5541-ed53-d7e9-1eb75271f98d-1639682096405.","banner_image":null,"first_story_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1622081414347-f146776e3dbd?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8M3x8dmFtcGlyZXxlbnwwfHx8fDE2MjQxMTcyNTE&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=TuZqmJVAHX0","user":{"username":"authorlocke","id":"9d57aecd-37ae-4a13-85be-372bd3322fb8","nickname":"abigail","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/9f852e6e-0fa8-d1eb-7338-9aeae9fd657c-1624135791689.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_9f852e6e-0fa8-d1eb-7338-9aeae9fd657c-1624135791689.jpeg","background_picture":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default.jpg","background_picture_preload":"https://d2ekxuuyaakxli.cloudfront.net/media/public/images/pencil/assets/cover_default_preload.jpg","description":"lgbtq+ fantasy is my jam personally","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":42,"reaction_count":64,"following_count":14,"follower_count":94,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":144301,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":["fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"is_following":null,"reaction_counts":{"all":0},"id":"cb8f3a78-e9d1-4205-807b-febf05f659fa","tags":["vampire","roommates","paranormal","supernatural","super natural","werewolves","fae","lgbtq","gay","boys","nonbinary","non binary","asexual","pansexual","bisexual","bi-sexual","university","college","romance"],"story_count":36,"is_series":true,"type":"series","follower_count":1},"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2023-10-19T09:35:43.793742-07:00","created":"2022-02-06T01:53:03.030093-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Paranormal Boys: Chapter 17","description":"Marcel&#39;s anxiety triggers an attack that makes his vamp fangs grow while Robin is sleeping beside him. He struggles to get it under control before Robin can wake up.\nCW: anxiety attack\n","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1553172574-1eb37430181e?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8MjB8fGRvcm18ZW58MHx8fHwxNjQ0MTQxNDE0&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=YRLzG_4X-KE","slug":"paranormal-boys-chapter-17","categories":["FC"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-06T02:06:20.765249-08:00","published":"2022-02-06T02:06:20.765239-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":256,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"9d57aecd-37ae-4a13-85be-372bd3322fb8","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"ceac541e-16d0-480c-bc23-09b92c0e4629","reaction_count":26,"reaction_counts":{"NI":25,"all":25,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"urlocalbitch","author_description":"Homie Hopper tbh-","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Talking About The \"Faking Disorders\" Issue","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1509023464722-18d996393ca8?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NHx8ZGFya3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQwOTczNjU&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=u27Rrbs9Dwc","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1509023464722-18d996393ca8?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NHx8ZGFya3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQwOTczNjU&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=u27Rrbs9Dwc","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1509023464722-18d996393ca8?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NHx8ZGFya3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQwOTczNjU&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=u27Rrbs9Dwc","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1509023464722-18d996393ca8?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NHx8ZGFya3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQwOTczNjU&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=u27Rrbs9Dwc"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/73b21c55-96f0-a3be-77c4-b8341b859d9c-1651355776754.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"urlocalbitch","id":"f6eb50bd-1149-40bb-9b46-4cb850f6a2ec","nickname":"ur dad loves me :)","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/73b21c55-96f0-a3be-77c4-b8341b859d9c-1651355776754.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_73b21c55-96f0-a3be-77c4-b8341b859d9c-1651355776754.jpeg","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/5856d36a-e6f1-f261-66fb-55d52875697b-1652811115993.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_5856d36a-e6f1-f261-66fb-55d52875697b-1652811115993.jpeg","description":"Homie Hopper tbh-","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":26,"story_count":165,"reaction_count":171,"following_count":198,"follower_count":180,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":165339,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":"fqr","badges":["lv1","gft","lv2","fqr"],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["mentalhealth","mental health","disorder","ed","mental health awarness"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2023-05-12T19:47:42.291724-07:00","created":"2022-02-05T13:09:02.259348-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Talking About The \"Faking Disorders\" Issue","description":"Like I said I might make a part 2 of this bc it is such a serious topic and if I do make a part 2 then it will be me talking more about my friends disorders and how it affects them instead of talking about me","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1509023464722-18d996393ca8?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NHx8ZGFya3xlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDQwOTczNjU&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=u27Rrbs9Dwc","slug":"talking-about-the-faking-disorders-issue","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-05T13:46:38.069146-08:00","published":"2022-02-05T13:46:38.069134-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":79,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"f6eb50bd-1149-40bb-9b46-4cb850f6a2ec","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null},{"id":"586068df-6034-4c20-b20e-58092fefe1ca","reaction_count":3,"reaction_counts":{"NI":2,"all":2,"top":["NI"]},"shoutout_count":0,"username":"syddog4","author_description":"Community member","user_reactions":[],"user_shouted_out":false,"first_page_text":"Can't Sleep ","first_page_image":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1606103836293-0a063ee20566?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NjZ8fG1lbnRhbCUyMGhlYWx0aHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDM5NTA2NjY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=ulPAVuxITEw","first_page_images":{"s":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1606103836293-0a063ee20566?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NjZ8fG1lbnRhbCUyMGhlYWx0aHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDM5NTA2NjY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=30&w=200&imgid=ulPAVuxITEw","m":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1606103836293-0a063ee20566?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NjZ8fG1lbnRhbCUyMGhlYWx0aHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDM5NTA2NjY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=40&w=480&imgid=ulPAVuxITEw","l":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1606103836293-0a063ee20566?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NjZ8fG1lbnRhbCUyMGhlYWx0aHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDM5NTA2NjY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=ulPAVuxITEw"},"author_profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/56598573-cadf-80c5-e75f-eb1be11a1323-1643950865764.jpeg","author_is_identity_verified":false,"author_is_elite":false,"author":{"username":"syddog4","id":"621f998d-88b9-4f04-8834-c236d9411b57","nickname":"Sydney","profile_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/56598573-cadf-80c5-e75f-eb1be11a1323-1643950865764.jpeg","profile_picture_thumb":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_56598573-cadf-80c5-e75f-eb1be11a1323-1643950865764.jpeg","background_picture":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/4326e16b-b5e8-c4d7-20cb-ab6527c79bcb-1644463691731.jpeg","background_picture_preload":"https://cdn.commaful.com/media/public/images/profile/t_4326e16b-b5e8-c4d7-20cb-ab6527c79bcb-1644463691731.jpeg","description":"","is_following":null,"shoutout_count":0,"story_count":2,"reaction_count":1,"following_count":7,"follower_count":1,"is_ambassador":false,"is_following_you":null,"is_identity_verified":false,"is_elite":false,"num_words_read":106,"is_blocked":false,"featured_badge":null,"badges":[],"social_urls":{},"about":{}},"type":"story","tags":["mentalhealth","mental health","depression","anxiety"],"series":null,"image_collection_id":null,"img_story_src_details":{},"poll_info":null,"paywall_amount":null,"paywall_unlocked":false,"modified":"2022-05-16T11:19:38.493255-07:00","created":"2022-02-03T20:52:45.860947-08:00","deleted":null,"title":"Can't Sleep ","description":"A short(ish) story about my current mental health. \nTRIGGER WARNING \nAnxiety, self harm, dissociation. ","thumbnail":"https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1606103836293-0a063ee20566?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=MnwxMjI2fDB8MXxzZWFyY2h8NjZ8fG1lbnRhbCUyMGhlYWx0aHxlbnwwfHx8fDE2NDM5NTA2NjY&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=50&w=720&imgid=ulPAVuxITEw","slug":"cant-sleep","categories":["FE"],"privacy":"P","published_public":"2022-02-03T21:00:04.424908-08:00","published":"2022-02-03T21:00:04.424894-08:00","share_gif":null,"share_photoset":{},"share_vid":null,"share_vid_short":null,"share_vid_preview":null,"page_hit_mark":17,"comment_count":0,"dedications":{},"draft_text":null,"draft_details":null,"is_nsfw":false,"is_multi_ad":false,"is_spellbound":false,"is_monetized":false,"paywall":0,"cutoff_page":null,"userId":"621f998d-88b9-4f04-8834-c236d9411b57","img_story_src":null,"promoted_story":null}],"page":31}