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"first_page_text": " \n \n MALDECIDO\n CHAPTER ONE\n \n“EMMA DREW! You are free to go. Collect your belongings and go home.” Said Kim, the prison jailor. Kim works as a jailor in the prison I have been kept for the past five years. She has been good to me for the past five years, she heard about my story and she has always been cheering me up. She was happy for me that I was going to be out today, it was my last day and I was finally being freed. “Emma, what’s wrong? You don’t look happy. You are finally free, you can go home and start fresh. You should be smiling and enjoying this moment.” Said Kim looking confused.\nI haven’t said a word since the moment she told me I could go home. It was so obvious that I don’t look happy and that was a question for everyone. Even Edna, my prison friend was staring at me like I was crazy. “Emma, I know you have been through a lot and you have given up on everything but this will be a new beginning for you. You could have your fresh start, and try to get over all the bad things that had happened. And I will be out in three months, we could have our own apartment and work together. everything will be okay I promise.” Said Edna trying to cheer me up.\nActually it was her personality, Edna is a kind of person that finds the good in everyone. She believes everything happens for a good reason. She even said that the reason that she was caught stealing the day she got arrested, was so that we could meet and be friends. She always has something positive to say about every bad situation.\nAfter I got in jail I was hopeless and devastated until three months later, they brought in a new prisoner and she was placed in the prison cell I was in. she had dark black hair, green eyes and medium height. She was a bit shorter than me. She had a beautiful smile. I wanted to be alone, in my own dark world. But It was obvious that it was impossible because I had to spend almost all the time with the new girl. At first I hated her, she doesn’t stop talking and bragging about everything. She asked a lot of questions which really bothered me. I even asked for another partner. As time passed I enjoyed her company and I started opening up about my painful situation. She was arrested for shoplifting and because it was her third time getting caught they sentenced her five years.\nMe and Edna We became good friends and we also planned on living together and being there for each other after we get out of here. she made my jail time less painful. I loved having her around.\nAfter listening to them complaining about me not looking happy, I knew I had to say something because I was quiet for a while and it was definitely worrying them. I replied asking a question.\n“Guys the question is that; do I want to go home? Because my family hasn’t visited me for the past five years and I am sure they don’t want to see me either. And I am sure my friends hate me by now. It’s just that all my friends and family moved on without me and I am still stuck here in my dark past. How can I go home like nothing happened? I replied with eyes full of tears.\n“it’s time to go Emma!” said Kim leading the way. “See you in three month Emma, stay strong. And make sure to pick me up on my release date. Since I don’t have anyone else to pick me up, and I love you. I will miss you.” Said Edna with a very loud and funny tone. “see you in three month Edna, I will miss you too.” I replied as I walked out of the gate.\nIt finally feels like freedom but I knew walking out of that prison gate might even be worse. Because I know I am not welcome at home anymore.\nI walked out of that gate full of thoughts on how the rest of my life would be. And honestly speaking, nothing looks good for me anymore. I knew no one would be out there waiting for me to take me home or support me. But I was wrong, my three years’ younger sister Bella was standing waiting for me outside. She was wearing a beautiful long sleeve black dress, black high heel. Her hair was tied up clean, she looked all grown up and beautiful.\nI haven’t seen her or heard from her for the past five years. I was surprised to see her; I don’t know if I feel happy or mad that she was there. It was a confused feeling. For the past five years no family members came to visit me or even ask me what really happened, including Bella. And now she is here looking happy to see me. So I didn’t really know how to react, am I happy? I don’t think so. Even pretending was really hard at this point.\nAfter a few minutes of confusion, I knew I had to go and face the reality. I walked towards her. As she saw me walking, she started coming my direction with a smile on her face. I didn’t smile back but I kept walking. After few walks we reached at a point where there was no distance between us anymore. I can see she wanted to hug me, she really did. I missed her but what they did to me and the way they treated me was unforgivable.\n“Hi Bella! Good to see you.” This was all that could come out of me at this moment. And I can see by her looks that, this wasn’t what she expected. I can see the disappointment in her eyes.\n“I can see you are not happy to see me, but I didn’t want you to be alone on this day. It’s your freedom day and I thought you might need someone beside you. That’s why I came.” Said Bella with a sad look.\nI wanted to be thankful for what she did or said but the anger inside of me won. So this was all I could say. “I was all alone for the past five years and you didn’t seem to mind at that time so it wasn’t really necessary for you to come now.”\n“can we please forget about the past and not talk about it please.” Replied Bella feeling ashamed looking away. As each words come out of her the angrier I get.\n“well it’s easy to say or forget! Because none of it happened to you ha! You were home cozy with your family, living the life you always dreamed of. I bet you celebrated every birthday, you had your good five years. By now I am sure you even graduated from college and might even be working your dream job. And I can definitely see the big diamond ring on your finger, which shows that you are engaged and will soon be married. And I can see you got a fancy black range rover, which you have always dreamed of. Bella you got everything you dreamed of. Your past five years were productive, successful and beautiful. So why would we bother talking about my ugly and damaged life.” I answered as I burst into tears.\n“Emma, if you don’t want me here, I can go.” I can see how angry she got while saying this because her face turned red.\n“Okay then go! I don’t even get why you came here the first place.” I looked away as I said that, trying to show her I didn’t need her pity. But honestly speaking I didn’t want her to leave, I am so mad at her and I needed her to know that I am upset and hurt.\n“You know what Emma, what happened to you was none of my fault or our families or even your friend’s fault. You screwed up, you messed up! Either you did it or not, you were where you shouldn’t have been, you befriended people you shouldn’t have been friends with. You went to places where you were not supposed to be at. For God sake Emma, have you blamed yourself for a minute? You thought you had the worst times ha! Because of your mess our lives have been full of struggle. The news was all over the papers and medias. Dad got fired from his job, mom couldn’t handle the rumors. Me and Angela were treated as we were criminals. Did you know that even though I had the highest grades the college told me to take a leave for a year until thing get better? Angela was in a hospital because of stress and we were scared thinking she might not get better. And your haters kept throwing stones and fireworks at our place. We had the worst three month of our lives. We tried to stay but things got even worse as each day passed, every morning there was something new so we left. We packed our bags and left for good. We moved to a new city where people didn’t really care about who we were. We were scared to come back so we never came back, that’s why we never visited you. We were scared to contact you! Yeah we were selfish but you were selfish when you chose your path too. You did this to all of us, the least you could do is blame us!” Bella replied as tears fall down her eyes.\nListening to what she said it was clear that it was me, I was the one to blame. Even though I didn’t do the thing I was accused and sentenced for, I was responsible for the path I chose. And I was definitely responsible for what I put my family through. Bella was right I didn’t have the right to be mad at them at all. I wish I could take back all the things I said. I think I needed someone to take the blame and I blamed my family.\nThere was nothing I could say that would heal her wounds. All I could do was hug her. She hugged me back and we cried together for I don’t know how long. “I am sorry Bella! I didn’t know what I made you go through. I am truly sorry.” That was all I could say.\n“apology accepted! Can we go home now? Everyone is waiting for you.” Replied Bella wiping her tears. The thought of going home and facing everyone scared me, I wish I could say “please let’s go somewhere else” but I knew it was time to face the truth. “do we have to go?” was what I said instead.\n“well, you know I could talk to the prison warden and you could go back there if you like.” Said Bella smiling at me. “no thanks, I prefer home.” I replied really quick walking towards the car. Bella didn’t say a word but she kept laughing remembering the expression I gave to what she said last.\nWe got into the car, she started the engine and we started heading home. All the way till we reached there, we were talking about good old times. Going back to the life I had before what happened to me five years ago, I remembered everything was good. I didn’t have the perfect life or something but I had a happy family, good friends, a college degree, decent job, a cute and caring boyfriend. what else could I ask for right? Everything was simple and calm. But then I got involved in something I will never forgive myself for. I chose something bad over every good thing I had and look where it got me. I hate myself for what I did to the innocent Emma.\nWith all those thoughts running inside my head, Bella finally stopped the car. Watching her unfasten her seatbelt, I realized we were finally there. Since they moved away after what happened, it was a new neighborhood and house. That was the reason I couldn’t recognized it when we reached there. My heart is racing, what would they say? What do they think of me now? Do they hate me? Will they be happy to see me? Oh God this was not a good idea coming here. After I heard what they have been through because of me, I feel bad. I don’t even have the strength to look into their eyes. I opened the door and got off the car. I couldn’t move forward, I stood there like a statue.\n“Emma! They don’t hate you, they are your family, nothing could ever make them hate you. They were hurt but it’s been five years now, trust me we have all moved on.” As I was listening to what Bella has to say, I head footsteps from the back side of where we were standing. I turned back to see who it was; It was my dad. He was actually running towards me calling my name out loud again and again. I can see his face turning red, and he was crying with a smile on his face. I can see different emotions on his face. but what I could understand is that he is happy to see me.\nWatching my dad running, calling my name crying, gave me butterflies. Knowing that he still loves me feels great. I don’t even love myself at this point. I watched him run towards me and I didn’t move an inch, it felt like I froze. Me and my dad, we had this thing that no one understands. We love each other more than words could tell; I always knew he loved me more. He always made me feel special and loved. We did almost everything together. He would do anything to make me smile. Everyone was jealous of what we had. He is the best dad anyone could ask for. But I turned out to be the exact opposite, I let him down. And knowing he still loves me made me emotional.\n“Emma, you are finally home!” said dad and hugged me while bursting into tears. I tried my best to stand still and not cry but when he hugged me It felt like home for the first time in five years. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I fell down on my knees and started crying like a baby. It was finally time to let all the pain out, I needed to cry. Dad kneeled down with me and we continued crying together.\n“Go ahead honey! Cry, cry as much as you like. Because now you are home, because now you have your dad and your whole family beside you. So cry, cry it all out.” said dad as he kissed my forehead, like he used to.\nWe were still on the floor crying when another hand hugged us both from behind, I turned back to look who it was. I couldn’t believe my eyes; it was someone that I didn’t expect. It was my mom, I never thought she would forgive me. The last time I saw her the way she looked at me, I could never forget. And now we were crying on the floor for three.\n“guys if you are planning to stay there long, maybe it’s better we join you too.” Said Angela, my 17 years old beautiful and sweet sister. We all looked at her and laughed like we weren’t crying few seconds ago.\nDad stood up from the ground where we were kneeling and he grabbed both mine and mom’s hand and helped us get up. Then all five of us walked to the front door of our house. As we went inside I could see welcome balloons and decorations, it looked amazing.\n“I made you, your favorite meal. Beef barbecue steak with French fries. And I also got you coke with ice which you like to have with your favorite meal.” Said mom preparing the table for lunch.\nI don’t really know what to say because everyone is treating me well, which I don’t really deserve. But I was really grateful for what they were doing. Because what I had imagined was the exact opposite. I thought they all hated me and moved on. I thought they didn’t want anything to do with me. But they proved me wrong and showed me that family comes first.\nWe all sat at the dining table to have our special dinner that mom prepared to make me happy. While having our lovely lunch they started telling me things that had happened while I was away. Lots of things had really changed the past few years. My friends moved on and forgot all about me. And my Ex-boyfriend got married to my best friend. From all the things I heard, what I realized is that in the past five years everyone changed and almost everyone is at the place they always planned to be at.\nAnd I realized I am the only one that is still stuck in my past. I tried but I couldn’t move past what happened, I am hurt. Maybe it’s because the things that happened to me wasn’t all my fault. Yes, I did some things wrong but what happened to me was not fair at all. They took my five years away. I could have had a better life if they didn’t put me in that situation. And at this point I don’t even know whom to blame. It’s not that my name was ruined that kills me inside. It’s the fact that my young age my five years were taken away from me, for something I did not do.\nI was only twenty-two when the judge sentenced me with eight years of prison time. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. Luckily I was out three years before the time of release because of good behavior.\nWe finished our lunch, Bella and Angela were helping mom clean up. Suddenly we heard the front door open, we turned away to look who it was; it was a girl wearing a short blue dress with a long black boots and a back hand bag. Her blond hair was tied in a messy bun and as always she still has that funny look on her face that she makes when she is late. And of course she has a killer entrance like she did now. If you are wondering who this weirdo is, she is my childhood best friend Dina. we grew up together, went to school together, went to college together, we did everything together.\nAnd if you are wondering why she is the only person I am not mad at, or why she didn’t come to visit me all those years. It’s because three months before the crisis that had happened to me, Dina got a grad school scholarship in London. So yeah she went there for two years, after she got back she heard what happened to me and tried to contacting me. And one time she came to visit but I made her promise not to come again because I didn’t want her to get in trouble by being seen with me. That’s the reason she never came back.\nAfter her fabulous entrance, she run towards me and gave me a tight hug. She didn’t let go for a while.\n“I missed you! You are not allowed to make me promise this kind of thing again! I am serious Emma. And I am sorry I am late, I overslept.” Said Dina kissing my cheeks.\nShe hasn’t changed at all; the same crazy girl I have known my whole life. Now that she is here the family feels complete. I turned around, looked at all of them and smiled. Even though I lost everything, I have my family and that was more than enough. \n \nDad suggested we sit on the sofa instead and watch movie. I can see he was trying to keep me distracted but his plan didn’t work at all because while he was trying a big question pooped out of one of the family members. And It was Angela. “did you do what they said you did?\nAs soon as she said that all three of they shouted her name out loud giving her the look trying to tell her to shut up. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make them uncomfortable. So instead I looked away. But Angela wasn’t old enough to understand how painful and strong some topics are. Because if she did, then she wouldn’t have said what she said next.\n“I don’t think you did it though. Because I remember how you were before they said you killed that man. You couldn’t even kill a cockroach. I remember how much you hated horror and movies that had killings and blood. So how could you kill a real human being. I never trusted them. But I was hurt when they took you away. That’s why I have decided I want to join law school.”\n“to tell you the truth I felt the same way too, but I didn’t know what to do that’s why I kept quiet. You are not capable of doing what you were accused of.” Continued Dina.\nAfter I heard what Angela and Dina had to say tears fall down rolling down my cheeks. When everyone gave up on me my little sister trusted me. Even though she was only twelve years old when I was prisoned she always believed me. And that really meant a lot to me.\n“tell me honey, tell me everything that happened that year. The year everything fell apart. I am ready to listen to your side of the story.” Said dad holding my hand.\n“Emma, we are all ready. We need to know what happened. You owe us all the truth. We have all the time just tell us.” Said mom sitting on the sofa next to Bella.\nThey were all waiting for the story that happened the year I went to jail. And I knew it was time to let it out. so I started, let me take you five years ago………..",
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